Raising Faith-Filled Kids by Tom McGrath

Author:Tom McGrath [McGrath, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL010000, RELIGION / Parenting/Spirituality, REL012040, RELIGION / Christian Life/Inspirational, REL012000, RELIGION / Christian Life/General
ISBN: 9780829414257
Publisher: Loyola Press
Published: 2000-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

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Taking action 11

How to be patient, and soon

Reframe the situation; take the longer view. Most situations that spark our impatience are of no real consequence. Asking yourself, “Will this really matter ten years from now?” is a great way to put the situation in perspective. Or you can take God’s view and say, “In light of eternity, how important is this?”

Depersonalize the situation. Stop and remember that odds are what’s bothering you is not directed at you. If the computer freezes, it hasn’t chosen to do this to you specifically. You just happen to be the handy idiot trying to make it run.

Kids tend to personalize their complaints when they’re tired, frustrated, or feel powerless. It can really sting to hear “I hate you!” but such comments are rarely about us as parents. We’re simply handy targets for our kids’ frustration. Better you should let the comment bounce off you and get curious (lose your insensibility) and ask, “I wonder what’s going on that she would say that?” Then follow up with a wonderful lesson in not retaliating in kind. This lesson came in handy when my younger daughter was just weeks old. She suffered from colic, and we spent many a night pacing the rooms of our small house, since occasionally she was comforted when we walked while holding her close. But mostly she cried. It was a cry of pain—and a pain to hear. Kathleen and I were exhausted and anxious. It was easy to take the crying personally, as though there were something we could do but had failed to do. But learning more about colic, about the continuous stomach spasms and cramps, we came to understand the physical cause of these painful symptoms. It became easier to endure the long sessions of pain with compassion rather than impatience.

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