Prayers of Blessing over My Marriage by Bruce H. Wilkinson

Author:Bruce H. Wilkinson
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736971867
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

13

Attentiveness

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

COLOSSIANS 3:14

Preparing Our Hearts

The technology company Microsoft conducted a large-scale study on thousands of people a few years ago in Canada to measure attention spans. They sought to compare the results to ones prior to the onset of digital media and smartphones. What their research turned up was alarming. Not only had attention spans nearly halved since the increase of social media and the like, but they now measured less than that of a goldfish. Yes, according to scientific data, a goldfish could hold a thought longer than the average human being.

While our dearth in attention spans can have negative impacts on our work or even on our hobbies, one of the more critical areas it can impact is our marriages. Relational attentiveness is a key component to nurturing valuable assets such as trust, understanding, empathy, and more. Yet, when spouses can barely carry on a conversation without having to check in on social media midway through, or can’t sit through a meal without their phone nearby to access at will, growing these essential areas of relational connection becomes challenging.

Just as the Scripture verse chosen for this subject outlines how love binds all virtues together in perfect unity, attentiveness binds two people together relationally. Consider how you feel when you share something that means a lot to you or something you did that day with your spouse, only to discover they didn’t hear you at all. They may have been present, but their mind had gone on its own journey elsewhere. This lack of attentiveness creates gaps in the grooves that connect us, causing us to drift apart rather than draw closer together. The enthusiasm with which you first shared what you were saying is rarely matched once you have been asked to repeat it. In fact, oftentimes you may simply say, “Never mind.”

Lack of attentiveness can have a devastating impact on any relationship. Setting it outside of the context of marriage may help bring this to light. In a work environment, if your boss were to give you information or instructions on a task they were needing you to complete, you would most certainly pay attention. You might even take notes. Why? Because your boss’s view of you depends on how well you perform the request. Far too many of us will pay greater attention at work than we ever do to our spouse. It’s not because we don’t realize the value of attentiveness. Rather, it’s often because we become lazy. Laziness can be an outgrowth of taking your spouse for granted. When you take your spouse for granted, you can become negligent in how much you engage emotionally and mentally with them. This negligence or dismissiveness can contribute to the breakdown of the relational enjoyment.

In order to overcome inattentiveness in your marriage, be intentional about your times together. Put your phones away during meals or discussions. Make eye contact, and try to keep it throughout the conversation.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.