One Light Still Shines: My Life Beyond the Shadow of the Amish Schoolhouse Shooting by Marie Monville

Author:Marie Monville [Monville, Marie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780310336761
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2013-09-30T04:00:00+00:00

part three

Dawn’s Light

11

home fires

Pastor Dwight stood before an unusually large crowd Sunday morning, every seat filled, and welcomed the many visitors who had come to show their support for my family. We loved worshiping here every Sunday alongside my parents, Charlie’s parents and grandparents, and other extended family. The outpouring of love and prayers from this congregation had covered us all this past week. Even so, my children and I had waited until the last minute before entering, unprepared to socialize on this first day after the funeral. Eager as I was to be here, my emotions were too raw for condolences and shared tears.

We’d made the right decision to have Charlie’s funeral at our old church, High View, the church of my past, a place of memories. Today I was back in the church of my present, Living Faith Church of God, which had been planted by High View. I was grateful that I wouldn’t have the image of Charlie’s coffin in my mind every Sunday as I worshiped here.

Abigail, Bryce, and Carson had awakened with excitement from their final night’s sleep at Aunt Linda’s. Today they were going home! Before leaving for church, we had scurried around packing up the belongings we’d brought to Linda’s place. The kids had chattered the whole time about how good it would be to sleep in their own beds and play with our dog, Dale. They were adorable as they discussed how glad Dale would be to come home as well, after his week with my sister and brother-in-law. It was fun to hear the anticipation in their voices, as if we were getting back to normal.

Normal. I had no idea what that might mean for us now. A new normal, I supposed. What would it feel like to be home? Charlie was everywhere and nowhere. Did I even want to go back? The knowledge of what lay ahead brought thoughts I was not prepared to deal with, so I pushed them aside, knowing their time would come soon enough.

I was relieved when we pulled into the church lot and saw no signs of media vans. When my pastor, Dwight, and I had talked a few days before, I’d told him I wanted to address the congregation today to share a bit of my journey over the past week with our church family. They needed to know we were okay. We’d been a part of this close-knit group of believers for nine years. I wanted to assure them that their prayers had brought strength. I wasn’t hiding under a bed somewhere, I wasn’t panic stricken, and I wasn’t a basket case, because God was doing something astounding in the midst of this tragedy.

Pastor Dwight shared briefly with the congregation about the events of the past week and the mending he saw God doing in the midst of great brokenness. Quite a startling concept — God’s ability to put the pieces back together in the midst of such great loss. Then Dwight called me forward, and as I walked toward the front I heard gasps and saw looks of surprise on many faces.

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