On Getting Out of Bed: the Burden and Gift of Living by Alan Noble

Author:Alan Noble
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mental illness;mental health;depression;anxiety disorder;suffering;Christian counseling;therapy;Christian mental health;pastor;counselor;therapist;Christian living;psychiatrist;major depressive disorder;daily living with depression
Publisher: InterVarsity Press
Published: 2022-12-16T08:51:43+00:00

Is Richard now himself again?

ROBERT LOWELL, “HOME AFTER THREE MONTHS AWAY”

TO LIVE THROUGH MENTAL SUFFERING, you must have an answer for why life is worth all the anguish. But if your suffering is from a chronic mental illness (diagnosed or not), then answering this question once isn’t enough. You also need to know how to live with the mundane burden of a mental illness. Because answering this question doesn’t make your depression or anxieties or fears disappear.

Tomorrow you will have to get out of bed again. And the next day. And the day after that. You have to go grocery shopping. And go to work. Read to your children. Help your friend move. Do your homework. Finish that project. Pray and read the Bible. Exercise. Go outside. Eat. In other words, we don’t answer this question once in some dramatic moment of revelation that clarifies our lives forever. The choice to live is made every moment of every day, consciously or unconsciously. And in the midst of chronic suffering, whether in the form of a mental illness or a lingering life tragedy that weighs on your spirit, making the conscious choice to get out of bed grows stale and wearisome.

Occasional panic attacks, breakdowns, and depressive episodes can be terrifying, but the monotonous grind of chronic mental suffering is its own kind of burden. You grow used to your illness. It becomes a familiar friend, so that when you have periods of relief you don’t feel relief—you feel out of sorts, disoriented, or guilty, like you’re missing something. A momentary experience of joy or innocent pleasure can make you feel worse, as your disordered mind frantically searches for a reason why you should feel bad, or why you don’t deserve this nice thing. Or you are afraid to hope because at any moment the darkness may return, and then you start hoping for the darkness so that you won’t be disappointed. So here’s the challenge: how to live daily, moment by moment, with a thorn in your flesh.

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