My Little Panda Girl by Calliope St. James

Author:Calliope St. James [James, Calliope St.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: One Bad Day Productions
Published: 2019-12-12T05:00:00+00:00

Panda Tease

My reaction to being out of contact with my little panda girl for a single day was out of the norm for me. My level of concern for Chrissy seems to me, unreasonable, but yet, I still feel panicked, and my imagination runs wild with horrific worst-case scenarios.

The night after Rebecca’s drunken declaration and subsequent disappearing act, I’d barely considered where she was. I’d tried to call her a few times in an effort to break up with her permanently, but when she ignored my calls, I got to a point where I just went on with my life.

It’s strange to me; I’d considered having a serious relationship with someone I obviously cared very little about. It wasn’t like the disappearing act was something new with Becca Moore. She’d often go off for days at a time, lost in her painting or scheduling for her art gallery. However even the first time she disappeared for more than a day I wasn’t anywhere near frantic as I’d been just two days ago. Worry had never been even a remote thought with Becca.

For all the faults, on either side of that relationship, I suppose I should thank Becca for being who she is. Her brat tendencies and pouty little girl antics, albeit manipulations, reopened my Mommy desires which made it possible for me to not only cross paths with Chrissy but to take notice of desires I’d long ago buried.

I guess everything really does happen for a reason.

Another thing that is strange is the fact that I'm far more critical of myself in this relationship than I’ve ever been with anyone else. I don’t second guess. I do. I am a doer, but yet with Chrissy, I’m actually fearful of losing her. This isn’t something I’d considered in other relationships. I mean I may never have had a relationship end where my partner was distraught at our parting, but I’d also never been fearful, during any stage, that my own actions would cause the relationship’s demise. Of course, my actions have caused the demise of some of my relationships, but I’ve always been self-assured from beginning to end.

Confident, in my actions and my decisions. I feel off-balance in this new relationship. In unfamiliar territory. It’s strange to feel your own mind is foreign in the way it behaves. Perhaps it is simply due to how strongly I feel for this particular woman. How suddenly powerful my connection is to her and how right I feel as a result.

As my final meeting of the day was concluding, my phone vibrated in my briefcase. I discreetly plucked it from the side pocket to check who it was. I don’t use text often, but Chrissy certainly does, and it had been our main form of communication over the last two days.

Chrissy: Is it Friday yet?

I felt myself smile wide and butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I read her text.

Me: No angel, one more sleep

Chrissy: I don’t think I’m going to make it! *dramatic

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