Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler

Author:Matt Chandler
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: The Village Church, The Explicit Gospel, Song of Songs, Song of Solomon, Acts 29 Network, Gospel, Gospel Coalition, Jared C. Wilson, Marriage, Relationships
Publisher: David C. Cook
Published: 2014-11-18T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FIVE

“AND THE TWO BECOME ONE FLESH”

We followed our newly wedded couple through their romantic Song from their first meeting through dating, courtship, and right up to their wedding ceremony. Next, leaving no aspect of their relationship to our imagination, they ask us to follow them to the honeymoon suite.

There’s no getting around it. This is exactly what was happening in Song of Solomon 4. They sang about sex on their wedding night. When you adequately interpret the poetry, the actions described are fairly graphic. But it’s not crude. It’s not inappropriate.

What we see is the outpouring and unleashing of desires that were held in check by God’s grace working through the couple’s godly will to obey. Solomon and his bride restrained themselves throughout their relationship while growing closer emotionally and spiritually. They became very intimate in their relationship, but even as sexual desire for each other grew, they didn’t stir that love before its time.

But now it’s time. They made their vows before the witness of their community and families. They pledged before God and each other to ahava love, no matter what—all the way until death. The covenant was sealed, and now they get to make the proverbial drive from the reception to the hotel.

When you marry your spouse, if your wedding day is the culmination of a long period of physical restraint, you will probably experience a similar feeling. Maybe you’ll hop on a plane to your honeymoon spot, land, rent a car, and make the drive to your honeymoon suite. You’ll be nervous and excited and a little scared, but a lot excited and sort of anxious and a very whole lot excited. You know that what you’ve held back for all this time is now sanctioned.

There’s another thing that may happen on the honeymoon night—something that probably happens more often than people care to admit: when a married couple finally meet each other sexually for the first time, when it’s over, they may think, That’s it? Between the buildup of anticipation, the nirvana-like category our culture has assigned sex, and the long, long wait, sometimes that first time is built up out of proportion. More weight is given to it than ought to be. We need to have some caution when reading about Solomon and his bride’s first time. If we misread it, we may set ourselves up for having our joy stolen.

Similarly, if you’ve been married a long while, if you’ve got kids, you work long hours, and you and your spouse have been racking up the years in age, you may read Song of Solomon 4 and think, What fairy tale did this come out of? This is ridiculous.

Thus, we need another caution. Remember that this chapter covers what we may call “ideal sex”—honeymoon sex between a couple who have actively kept themselves chaste while connecting deeply with each other on every other level. The sex depicted in Song of Solomon 4 is like the throwing open of a dam to release all the wonderful pressure of the nonsexual intimacy building up in their relationship.

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