Marriage Triggers by Amber Lia & Guy Lia

Author:Amber Lia & Guy Lia
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Howard Books
Published: 2020-01-28T00:00:00+00:00

Biblically, we are called to seek out ways to be peacemakers, asking the Lord for wisdom and discernment. Our spouse’s reaction to the truth is between him or her and the Lord, but being dishonest in order to spare our spouses from hurt feelings is not the answer.

In some marriages, both spouses are engaged in deceit. Fudging a little on taxes or agreeing to lie on an application for an apartment feel like they will do no harm. When couples cooperate with one another to lie, there are still consequences. Abram and Sarai are examples of this. As they traveled through Canaan, a severe famine hit the land. They decided to enter Egypt, but upon their arrival Abram cautioned Sarai to do him a favor by telling the officials that she was his sister. On account of Sarai’s great beauty, he feared that the Egyptians would kill him and take her for themselves. The plan worked out just fine as Sarai was ushered into the palace and betrothed to the pharaoh while Abram was given his own royal treatment, until God’s judgment fell on the people:

“But the Lord sent terrible plagues upon Pharaoh and his household because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. So, Pharaoh summoned Abram and accused him sharply. ‘What have you done to me?’ he demanded. ‘Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, “She is my sister,” and allow me to take her as my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and get out of here!’ Pharaoh ordered some of his men to escort them, and he sent Abram out of the country, along with his wife and all his possessions.” (Genesis 12:17–20, NLT)

Lying doesn’t just impact our lives and the lives of our spouses. It often has a negative impact on others—just as the household of Pharaoh found out. Our dishonesty will always end in more widespread trouble than we bargained for. It is never, ever, worth it!

I think we can agree that lying for any reason is not justifiable for the Christ-follower. Even though we know it’s natural, humanly speaking, to be dishonest, the good news is that we are not slaves to our human nature or to sin. Romans 6:6–7 (NLT) says, “We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ, we were set free from the power of sin.” God urges us to confess our sin to one another and to turn from our sinful ways. Coming clean is the biblical way to heal the wound of mistrust in our marriages.

But what about the spouse who is deeply affected by being lied to? I’d like to speak to you for a moment. I know that you feel angry and hurt, but I want you to carefully consider your own responses to your husband or wife. Please hear my heart here as I speak to you tenderly, and not in judgment.

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