Jokes by Adrian Wallwork

Author:Adrian Wallwork
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Springer International Publishing, Cham

b)engineer

c)physicist

d)programmer

e)statistician

106

Three professors - a _______ , a _______ , and a_______ - are called in to see the dean of their university. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

The _______ says: “I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out.”

The _______ says: “No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants.”

While the _______ and _______ debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the _______ running around the room starting other fires. They both scream: “What are you doing?”

To which the _______ replies: “Trying to get an adequate sample size.”

[dean - head of a university faculty; wastebasket - recipient for trash; cut off - terminate; lack - absence; sample size - the number of individual pieces of data collected in a survey]

107

An _______ , a _______ , and a_______ were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The _______ said “We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed”.

The _______ said “I think I’ve got a few spanners in the back. I’ll take a look and see if I can work out what’s wrong”.

The _______ said “Why don’t we get going again and see if it’s reproducible?”

[Note: This is a variation of joke 105, so the concepts are very similar.]

Decide which of the three punch lines (a, b, c) is the best ending for the following jokes.

108

At the station, three accountants each buy tickets and watch as three engineers buy only a single ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the accountants.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers one of the engineers. All of them board the train.

The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.