If at Birth You Don't Succeed by Zach Anner

Author:Zach Anner
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781627793650
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.

There was some discussion that we should have just crossed that sucker and taken whatever repercussions came as a result in stride. I was sure Canadian prisons were nicer than most American schools, and I imagined guards apologizing to me for not having enough maple syrup for my pancakes. But our liaison at the Vancouver Tourist Board had been so accommodating that we didn’t want to break the rules, even when those rules were keeping me sidelined and excluded in a way that felt frustratingly familiar. Not willing to risk another war with Canada, the four faithful comrades looked across the bridge and decided that unless all of us were able to cross the bridge, none of us would. That steadfast resolve lasted precisely seven seconds before Josh, Brad, and Aaron sprinted across, unable to resist the allure of the woodland wonderland that beckoned from the other side. It was hard to see the forest for the trees that day as I listened to my friends recount their frolic in the Ewok village, but luckily Canada is rich with treetop treasures and, thanks to Reddit, the most elusive of all of them would be accessible to me. Sort of. If we could find it.

While scouring Vancouver’s sizable subreddit page for ideas, Josh, my friend, producer, and excessively hairy person, stumbled upon a gaggle of Redditors who were planning a weekend expedition to find the HemLoft, a legendary tree house hidden deep in the mountains of Whistler. Nobody knew exactly where the HemLoft was, which only added to its mystique: a secret tree house, perched on a dangerous slope amid a hemlock grove, discovered by only the boldest of explorers. These Redditors thought they’d cracked its location, so we decided to piggyback off their weeks of research, while I literally piggybacked on Aaron and Josh through the woods. Using a community to discover something few had ever seen was what Reddit was all about. Even if we didn’t find the tree house and simply got lost in the woods and eaten by bears, we all concluded that any outcome of this expedition would make for a glorious ending to the show.

Gone were the guidebooks, bowler hats, suspenders, and scripts. As we drove up the mountain to the meeting point, the skies were gray and threatening rain. Our detailed intelligence on the location of the HemLoft turned out to be little more than a few scribbled notes on a crumpled-up piece of paper, probably hemp paper at that. When we arrived, one of our new Reddit companions had already been decommissioned by a vicious bee attack. That early casualty might have shaken lesser men’s confidence, but what was Riding Shotgun if not aimlessly wandering until we found something cool? So, for the last time, I resumed the Yoda position and hopped on Aaron’s back. We trekked into the woods, leaving my chair along the side of the road, reasoning that even if it was stolen, it was our last day and no one gave a shit at this point.

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