I'm Fine by Susan Renee

Author:Susan Renee [Renee, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Susan Renee
Published: 2019-09-09T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

Avery

Ignoring the several text messages being delivered to my cell phone, I drive my car home, pull into my parking spot, and hurry out to the beach. The wind is warm, but I can tell just by looking out at the water where the waves stop and the sky starts, that a storm will be rolling in soon. The clouds are huge and puffy and grey. This is more like what I expect the weather to be at this time of year. We don’t usually get the cold and snowy weather, but the dreary grey skies remind us that it’s going to be winter soon…whatever that means for Californians. The look outside is exactly how I feel inside. Like my emotions are brewing and could explode any minute.

“How could I have been so stupid?” I ask myself. How did I so blindly walk right into his trap? Did he know I was going to be at that party? I rack my brain trying to remember if maybe I mentioned it to either of the guys, but I honestly can’t remember ever bringing it up. It’s just something Claire and I have done together in the past. Did he follow me? No. That’s ridiculous. Who would go to that much trouble just to finally get into a girl’s dress…err…cat suit?

I pick up a few broken seashells and throw them back into the water one at a time and then step back from the water to sit on the beach. I kick off my sandals and hug my knees, burying my feet in the sand. I want to be pissed off. I want to be outraged at his behavior. I want to slap him in the face and kick him in the nuts for effectively violating me when he knew I was drunk, and then lying about it.

But I can’t.

“Don’t you want to kiss me Parker?”

“Yes, Parker. Please, Parker”

Because now I remember. Now I’ve had time for the entire night to replay like a nightmare over and over again in my head. Now I know this was all my fault. I’m the one who pushed him.

“I don’t want to be in control.”

Naked under his clothes. Climbing on top of him. Baring myself to him. I did this. I came on to him. And he allowed it to happen.

Worrying first about the consequences of one-night-stands, I try to recall when my last period was. At least with that info I know I’m not pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still need to think about getting myself checked.

“Ugh. Why does this have to suck?” I angrily wipe a few tears from my face. “Why didn’t he just tell me?”

I don’t understand why he felt the need to lie to me about us sleeping together. Unless…I don’t know…maybe he didn’t like it? Did I say something else that night that I don’t remember? Did I scream some other guy’s name or something? I mean, I know I’m probably not the sexual prowess he is, but I don’t remember him complaining either.

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