I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) by Laurie Notaro

Author:Laurie Notaro [Notaro, Laurie]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 0100-12-31T22:00:00+00:00

• If you are sitting behind me in a movie and you feel the need to converse as freely as if you are in your living room, I will “Shhhh!” you and then I will ask you for ten dollars. I cannot grasp the need to talk in a movie theater. If I’m going to talk to somebody, I’d rather not do it in the dark (unless I’m naked and really holding my stomach in), and if it costs me ten bucks for an hour and a half, it had better be to someone in a different state, or they’d better be telling me how hot I am. I figure if you have to talk, if you’re so full of interesting and fascinating information that it is simply impossible to hold it in, THAT’S WHAT BARS ARE MADE FOR.

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