How to Get Things Really Flat by Andrew Martin

Author:Andrew Martin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Experiment
Published: 2018-04-09T04:00:00+00:00

INTO THE KITCHEN

Once you’ve done the bathroom, pick up your Flash Multi-Purpose (or whatever), your bucket, your liquid soap and disinfectant (if using), and trudge through into the kitchen. I mean, there’s no point in putting it all away and then getting it out again.

But there are also some kitchen specialisms you may need to master. There may well be a lot of stainless steel in your kitchen, for example. This has been fashionable since the 1980s, and gives you kitchen the charm of . . . well, of an operating theater, or perhaps an abattoir. My wife bought a stainless-steel fridge-freezer and then a stainless-steel microwave to match. Later, we bought a stainless-steel bread bin and toaster to match the microwave and the fridge. The more stainless steel you have, the more stainless steel you will get.

Stainless steel is so called because it doesn’t rust rather than—as might have been more honest—because it doesn’t stain. While stainless steel is hygienic and quite easy to clean, it can be marked by dirty water, hard water, acidic foods, and table salt, among other substances. You should be aware of what kind of stainless steel you’re dealing with. Generally, it can be cleaned with a damp cloth, or a cloth with a mild detergent on it, in which case you should wipe off the detergent with water. Then buff up the surface with a soft, dry cloth.

You can buy proprietary stainless-steel cleaners, but they are not easy to find. We polish our fridge with a microfiber mitten, or “mitt,” as you are supposed to call it. Well, I say “we” polish our fridge . . . I have done it once. When I used the mitt, I found it worked better if I spat on it. Later, I looked up the instructions and discovered that you’re supposed to dampen one side of the mitten for the initial clean, and then buff with the other, so I was sort of right.

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