High Tide in Tucson by Barbara Kingsolver

Author:Barbara Kingsolver
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780061863585
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2011-12-21T06:14:25+00:00

I know of no one who really went looking to hoe the harder row, especially the daunting one of single parenthood. Yet it seems to be the most American of customs to blame the burdened for their destiny. We’d like so desperately to believe in freedom and justice for all, we can hardly name that rogue bad luck, even when he’s a close enough snake to bite us. In the wake of my divorce, some friends (even a few close ones) chose to vanish, rather than linger within striking distance of misfortune.

But most stuck around, bless their hearts, and if I’m any the wiser for my trials, it’s from having learned the worth of steadfast friendship. And also, what not to say. The least helpful question is: “Did you want the divorce, or didn’t you?” Did I want to keep that gangrenous leg, or not? How to explain, in a culture that venerates choice: two terrifying options are much worse than none at all. Give me any day the quick hand of cruel fate that will leave me scarred but blameless. As it was, I kept thinking of that wicked third-grade joke in which some boy comes up behind you and grabs your ear, starts in with a prolonged tug, and asks, “Do you want this ear any longer?”

Still, the friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away. And generally, through all of it, you live. My favorite fictional character, Kate Vaiden (in the novel by Reynolds Price), advises: “Strength just comes in one brand—you stand up at sunrise and meet what they send you and keep your hair combed.”

Once you’ve weathered the straits, you get to cross the tricky juncture from casualty to survivor. If you’re on your feet at the end of a year or two, and have begun putting together a happy new existence, those friends who were kind enough to feel sorry for you when you needed it must now accept you back to the ranks of the living. If you’re truly blessed, they will dance at your second wedding. Everybody else, for heaven’s sake, should stop throwing stones.

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