Great Parents, Lousy Lovers by Gary Smalley

Author:Gary Smalley
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781414359670
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

TED… When I ask couples to share their spiritual journeys, I am generally taken back to a time when they prayed a prayer, walked down an aisle, or stood up during a prayer at camp. I celebrate those decisions, but I also look for the fruit. I want to know about their spiritual journeys, not just their conversion times and dates. Too many couples treat their conversions as good enough and do not work to know God more. Because life change happens from the inside out, that is where marriage change begins as well. I am not concerned with a couple’s parents’ faith or the church they grew up in. I am interested in what they are doing today to know God.

The Bible says we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (see Ephesians 5:21), because of what Christ has done. How then do we show gratefulness and thankfulness? Out of reverence for Christ, love your spouse— even when your spouse is unlovable. It’s a mark of maturity. Remember that people, places, and things will never fill you up to overflowing. They are not the source of having your needs met. God, not your mate, is the only one who can meet all your needs.

It would be a great step for your spouse’s spiritual journey to tell him or her that he or she is no longer in charge of your moods, emotions, words, or reactions. You will no longer blame your spouse for your shortcomings or hold him or her accountable for your spiritual journey. Step up to the plate and begin your journey of faith and feed it for yourself first. You are the CEO of your life, but you can ask your mate for assistance or help.

What if your spouse is not a believer? What about your spiritual journey then? First Peter 3:1-4 is an encouraging passage for those in that situation. It describes a believing wife married to an unbelieving husband and says that the husband will take notice of the change in her life. In other words, when you pursue the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, you can’t help but be transformed. When you are truly growing in the Lord, you will naturally become a more gentle, kind, and loving person. That means that you don’t wait for your spouse to go to church, start reading the Bible, join a small group, or pray every day. Instead, you live your life as an example of those disciplines and Christ’s grace. When you make every effort to seek your fulfillment from God, you’ll find yourself not just lavished in God’s love but also better able to lavish your spouse with love.

The real secret to creating more hunger in your spouse if he or she does not believe in God is by letting your mate see a model of someone becoming more like God without any signs of criticism from you about his or her behavior. Most people haven’t

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