Goodbye Secrets by Jacquelyn Ayres

Author:Jacquelyn Ayres [Ayres, Jacquelyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Jacquelyn Ayres
Published: 2014-02-24T00:00:00+00:00

“Ray.” I nudge him.

“Huh? Oh ... hi, baby.” He smiles and kisses me.

“Why are you so tired today?”

“I was up most of the night working on a special Christmas gift.” He winks.

“So now, in my memories, I’ve made love to you without any help from wine. How long did it last? That whole attentive-girlfriend thing?” I’m confused. It should’ve been settled then, because both Ray and Elise called me out on my behavior.

“It was gone by Monday morning.” He sighs.

“Oh, Ray, I’m sorry.”

“Well, we made love a lot that weekend. It recharged my dealing-with-it batteries. You also started to see Patricia about your past. I felt hopeful that one day you would look into my eyes and say, ‘I’m ready to be yours, Ray. I’m ready for us. I’m ready for our present and our future. I’m ready to be all you need now.’” I watch as his chin quivers and his eyes fill up. Oh, why did he stay? How could he stay and wait for me like this? My heart is aching for him—for me.

“I don’t deserve you. You didn’t deserve me.” I wipe his tears.

“Why don’t I deserve the girl of my dreams? Why am I not good enough for you? Why couldn’t I ... why can’t I fix your heart? What could I have done differently?” His eyes are like the ocean in the middle of a hurricane.

“It wasn’t your job to fix it. I needed to be ready to face what happened to me. I was stuck between two worlds—two lives, really. Reliving these memories ... Ray, I’m realizing that I felt everything with you that I feel with Grayson. I think my mind just wasn’t ready to listen to my heart. I thought I just loved you, but that I’m in love with Grayson. It turns out ... I’m in love with you, too. What am I supposed to do with that, Ray?” I stop when his lips quiet my mouth. “Honestly, how did you put up with this for so long? I know you love me, but this is a lot to deal with. I feel like I’m Lucy from 50 First Dates,” I say, and Ray starts laughing. “What?” I give a toothy smile.

“I tried to do what Henry did in that movie. Sometimes it would work a little. I also refer to us as Allie and Noah from The Notebook. Those movies actually help me a little. They give me inspiration. Mostly, you are Lucy. Forgetful Lucy, and Peanuts Lucy where I am Charlie Brown always thinking, ‘This time ... I know she won’t pull the football away!’ Then I land on my ass and wonder ... when am I ever going to learn?” He sighs as he lays his head next to mine.

“So, when I clearly didn’t remember what happened, you would just pretend with me?” I don’t think I’d be able to do that!

“Yeah, I learned how to read you. When you have a few glasses in you or you’re on painkillers for something, my chances are really high.

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