Eat Cake. Be Brave. by Melissa Radke

Author:Melissa Radke
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2018-07-16T16:00:00+00:00

It’s been this way for months. This fog. This depression. This mental quicksand. That’s what it feels like, you know? It feels like I tripped and fell into something that I was totally unaware was even there—and now I’m stuck. I had never heard of quicksand until I was around nine years old. I heard a missionary, who had been living in a foreign country, talk about an encounter he had with quicksand. He explained what it was, what it could do, as young ears and bright eyes watched him from the stage. Jaws dropped, senses heightened. I decided right then and there that quicksand was the scariest thing I had ever heard of and I wanted no part of it. Yet, here I was. Losing to it. Oh, I could move, but only to go lower, slip farther…not to get out. Every day I battled a force I could not reason with and I slipped farther and farther.

On this morning, on this Friday morning, David pulls back the covers and walks me to the car. I arrive at the doctor’s office in the same clothes I had put on some two weeks before. I stink, and my hair is oily and stuck to my head. My face is covered with acne. I have put on weight, a lot of weight. I did not have to ask off from work to go to the doctor because I had quit my job. David still thinks I have been calling in sick. Really? For two whole weeks? Sometimes he is naïve. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to know the truth. The truth is I quit my job and now my job is to lie in bed until I die or I kill myself, whichever comes first.

Here, in the doctor’s office, they run tests on me. They scan me. They ask me questions. They probe me and pinch me and prick me. They ask more questions. They discuss me. They prescribe me. They label me. They send me out of the room. They talk to David. He comes out twenty minutes later. His eyes are swollen. I do not care.

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