Driving Home for Christmas: A hilarious festive rom-com to warm your heart on cold winter nights by Joanna Bolouri

Author:Joanna Bolouri [Bolouri, Joanna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Quercus
Published: 2022-10-02T00:00:00+00:00

2007

Kate

‘I don’t understand why they’re making us do this,’ I say to Mum. ‘It’s like a hillbilly nightmare.’

‘Nonsense, it’ll be fun!’ Mum insists, pulling at the fringing on my skirt. ‘You’re always complaining that the Christmas discos are lame, maybe this year will be better.’

I highly doubt it. Previous school Christmas discos were completely awful, but at least they weren’t playing Country and Western music and making us dress up like bloody cowboys. A Christmas hoedown. Really? I need to find a new school.

‘I bet this was Lindsay Templeton’s mum’s idea,’ I say, glaring at myself in the mirror. ‘She’s on the parent council, she always wears denim and they live on a farm. Guaranteed she came up with this.’

Mum smiles. ‘I wouldn’t call a few chickens a farm, but you might be right. I’ve heard she’s quite active on the committee. One of the reasons I’m not. There . . . All done.’

She stands to the side while I slowly die inside. Never in my fifteen years on earth did I think I’d be wearing a fringed denim skirt, a blue plaid shirt tied at the waist and cowboy boots.

‘Your hair looks so cute!’ Mum squeals. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to wear the cowboy hat? You suit hats.’

I’ll admit that my hair does look kind of cute. Two chunky plaits, with little loose curls down either side. ‘No to the hat,’ I insist. ‘I think the skirt fringing and the gun holster are more than enough humiliation for one evening.’

I hear a loud knock on the door downstairs. ‘Gubba,’ I yell. ‘Can you let Ed in?’

Mum fusses with the fringing again until I physically shoo her away.

‘Ed’s picking you up for the dance?’ she asks, raising an eyebrow. ‘How very gentlemanly of him . . .’

Oh god, there’s that look. I wish she wouldn’t do that. It’s so embarrassing.

‘Mum, he always comes in for me on the way to school. This is no different, so you can stop with the suspicious eyebrows. There’s no gossip here.’

‘I was only asking,’ she replies, now smirking. ‘I mean, you do spend a lot of time together, I was—’

‘I’m leaving now,’ I say, feeling my face start to burn which only makes her presume she’s correct. Which she isn’t. We are not a we. Not that I wouldn’t like to be a we, but Ed’s never given me any sign that he likes me in that way. Besides, I’m certain he likes Jenny Parker. Lauren said she passed him a note in class and then she saw her coming out of his house. If I ever get murdered, I want Lauren to investigate.

I head downstairs and see Ed standing with Gubba, smiling politely as she tells him about a school dance she attended four hundred years ago. I start to giggle.

‘Don’t you laugh,’ Ed warns, trying to keep a straight face. ‘I already want to throw myself into the River Styx.’

‘That shirt!’ I exclaim. ‘It’s hideous! It’s perfect! Where did you

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