Diary of a Pastor's Soul by M. Craig Barnes

Author:M. Craig Barnes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Pastoral Resources;Pastoral theology;REL074000;REL012140;REL012120
ISBN: 9781493423958
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2020-03-20T00:00:00+00:00

Week Four

A Wedding for the Nonbeliever

Cyndi Parker and her fiancé Skip Jordan came to see me at the church earlier this week. They both live in San Jose, where they met, but want to get married in June at our church. They are both here for the Christmas holidays visiting Cyndi’s extended family and introducing Skip to them. This was a convenient time to meet with me about their plans for the wedding.

Cyndi and her family have been part of the congregation for several generations. She was very involved in our children and youth programs, but she hasn’t been attending any church since leaving for college ten years ago. When I asked her about this, she said, “I just couldn’t find another church like St. Andrews.” (She actually thinks that’s an impressive argument for not worshiping in San Jose.) Then she assured me that she’s never left the faith and can’t imagine getting married anywhere but at her home church.

I left that alone for a while and asked Skip what he thought about this idea. He shrugged and said, “It’s okay with me because I know it’s really important to Cyndi.” Pastor that I am, I asked, “Is it important to you?” He responded with, “To tell you the truth, not really. If it was up to me, we would get married by a friend on the beach. But as long as her parents are footing the bill for this thing, I don’t care. Just so long as it isn’t real religious because, no offense Reverend, I don’t believe all that stuff.”

“I see,” I said as flatly as possible. “You realize, Skip, that in our tradition weddings are worship services. The liturgy is clearly Christian. I can’t pull Jesus Christ out of your wedding.”

The temperature in the room was starting to rise when Skip shot back, “Look, my family and all my friends know I’m an atheist. I would feel like a hypocrite looking religious all of a sudden at my wedding.”

“I understand,” I responded, again flatly. “I don’t want you to be a hypocrite either. But I’m a pastor and can only officiate at a wedding that claims you’re making a holy covenant.”

By now Cyndi was crying. A lot. She blurted out. “Can’t the two of you work this out? St. Andrews is my church. I have always dreamed of being married here because it would be so perfect. My grandmother is Thelma Parker, who’s been an elder here like forever. Pastor, I just can’t believe you’re going to wreck my wedding on a technicality.”

I’ve been here before. Often. A daughter of the church takes a break from worshiping when she moves away, but not from her heritage of faith. She meets a guy, falls in love, and plans to implement her childhood dream of someday walking down the aisle of this sanctuary where she probably once starred as Mary in the Christmas pageant. Only the guy she wants to marry is not a believer. But since she loves

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