Beyond Belief by Josh Hamilton; Tim Keown

Author:Josh Hamilton; Tim Keown
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: SPO003020
ISBN: 9780446550727
Publisher: FaithWords
Published: 2008-10-13T05:00:00+00:00

Back on the hamster wheel, back to disappointment and resentment, back to square one. I’d go a week or two without using, then I’d use, then I’d go a week or two or maybe even three without using again.

For the first time, money became an issue. Drugs and repeated trips to rehab had cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $500,000. When Katie and I got back together, I had about $500,000 left over from my signing bonus, and we put about $100,000 of that down on the new house. My erratic behavior had made Katie leery of giving me free rein on the bank accounts, so we started a game of keep-away with money. She would move it, and I would try to find it. The $3.96 million signing bonus — with nearly half going to taxes — wouldn’t last forever.

But I wasn’t the type of addict to let something as insignificant as insufficient funds — or reduced access — get in the way of my drug use. Again, I adapted. In August, with Katie pregnant, I needed some coke but had no means of buying it.

Katie had stopped wearing her wedding ring — we weren’t officially separated, but it was heading that way. She was pregnant, and we weren’t spending much time together. I went into the house when she wasn’t home and got her wedding ring out of the bedroom. I drove to a dealer’s house and told him he could keep the ring as collateral until I got my hands on some money.

He was fine with that, and I left the ring and got what I needed. I had been reduced to this: pawning my wife’s wedding ring for drugs.

The next day, when Katie discovered the ring missing, she was livid. She not only let me have it, but she tracked down the dealer’s number and arranged to meet with him in a parking lot to get the ring back.

“I understand you have my wedding ring,” she said on the phone.

After the guy said something smart, Katie said, “You’re going to give it back. You have no right to that.”

The dealer agreed, providing he got some money in return, and my pregnant wife drove to a parking lot, met with this character, and made the exchange. She had never been so scared in her life, but no matter what she thought about me at the time, she wasn’t about to let my lifestyle destroy all the dignity in our life.

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