Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family by Michelle Anthony

Author:Michelle Anthony
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Dysfunctional Parenting Styles, Spiritual Parenting, TRU, Rockharbor Church
Publisher: David C Cook
Published: 2014-12-18T00:00:00+00:00

Intake

The heart posture for Intake is to offer listening and love to your family member. In a world where everyone just wants to say something, listening is a gift. You want to make sure that when you listen, you also give eye contact, undivided attention, and verbal cues to allow your child or spouse to know he is being heard.

After you listen to your family member, ask questions. Doing so will demonstrate that you fully understand what he is sharing. These questions can be asked for clarification or to determine specific feelings about the situation.

What is critical for this step is that your family member feels that he is in a safe and nonjudgmental environment. It’s often hard to not look shocked and appalled, but as best as you can, try to listen in love.

And last, prayerfully put yourself in your family member’s situation, and ask God to cultivate compassion in your heart to give you a perspective of understanding and empathy.

Investigate

The heart posture for Investigate is to receive counsel and then offer it to your family member. As a spiritual parent who is seeking to have a spiritually healthy family, you want to receive counsel from God’s perspective first. Praying with and for your child (or other family member) is a powerful way to build your faith together while declaring who is ultimately in control.

You can investigate His Word or receive counsel from your pastor or other Christian friends. In a generation where the world is telling your child that there is no objective truth, you can build her trust in His Word as the best place for finding out what is true and good. It’s also important to solicit a professional in the area you are discussing.

Instigate

The posture of the heart for Instigate is to offer encouragement and confidence to your child. In this step you want your family member to take a baby step, but that step should be his idea. If he owns it, he is more likely to act upon it.

You can ask questions to help your family member determine what this step should be. But, ultimately, this is where you really want to partner with God’s Spirit to have your child or other family member hear from God (not merely your voice telling him what to do). Cheer him on with positive support about his decision to act.

Next you can together determine “homework.” This is something that will be followed up on as a result of the baby step that your child has come up with. It should have a due date with the understanding that you will be holding him accountable to his goal.

Keep in mind that often a baby step can be to confront, confess, or simply have a conversation with someone. Sometimes it’s about displaying a contrite heart before God.

Integrate

The heart posture for Integrate is offering support. This is different from doing it for your child or family member (which, as a parent, I find I often want to do). The Micro-Managing parent wants to rescue, not necessarily come alongside of, in order to empower.

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