9 Must-Have Conversations for a Doubt-Free Wedding Day by Gary Thomas & Steve Wilke & Rebecca Wilke

Author:Gary Thomas & Steve Wilke & Rebecca Wilke
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Dating, Engagement Marriage, Premarital Counseling, Workbook
Publisher: David C Cook
Published: 2012-11-09T00:00:00+00:00

Devotional

Vacation Vanity

Once the plane’s wheels hit the ground, I (Gary) breathed a huge sigh of relief. It had been over eighteen months since I had taken a vacation. I was especially exhausted from a heavy travel schedule and an eight-hour flight, and I was looking forward to some quiet beach time and rest. A few books, a lounge chair, a cold drink nearby, and I’d be a very happy man indeed.

My wife walked off the same plane with a different agenda. We were in a new place—and we only had fourteen days to explore every corner and drive down every road. On our second full day, to get us off to a good start, she suggested a “few little stops.” Twelve hours later, we arrived back at our condo, and my wife started talking about other things we could do in the remaining thirteen days.

“I can’t afford to leave this place more exhausted than when I got here,” I protested.

“It sounds like a lot to you,” my wife answered, “but think of all the things I’m already leaving out!”

I had flown over a hundred thousand miles in the past twelve months and had been to over a dozen different states and three different countries. I wanted to regather my strength rather than expand my experience. My wife doesn’t travel nearly as much as I do. The chance to be away is a chance for her to see and experience new things.

So who was right?

Both of us, of course. I had a legitimate need for relaxation, and my wife had a legitimate desire for exploration.

So who was wrong?

Both of us, of course. My wife should have known I needed more rest; I shouldn’t have acted like my need for rest was more important than the family’s need to do fun things together.

So how do you resolve something that can be looked at from either angle?

The answer is simple: humility.

Marriage books often dispense ready-made advice for how to resolve conflict, but there is usually a deeper issue at stake: sinful pride.

James was very clear when he wrote, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it” (James 4:1–2).

My wife and I both had needs, and it just so happened (as it often does) that our needs were in conflict. We couldn’t resolve them. We could try to split the difference down the middle—do something half of the days, rest the other half—but in all honesty, that was still sounding really busy to me and really boring to my wife.

The real problem was that both of us were using our own needs as the basis for what we thought the family should do. Pride can’t be mollified; it must be crucified. As long as I acted like my needs were more important, and as long as my wife acted as if her desires were more important, we’d never reach a place of peace.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.