50 Things You Can Do Today to Manage Stress by Wendy Green

Author:Wendy Green
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Summersdale
Published: 2011-07-09T16:00:00+00:00

If you follow this formula each time you face difficulties, you will gradually build a more positive image of yourself and your ability to cope with whatever life throws at you. This will give you the confidence to find effective solutions and reduce the amount of stress you experience.

31. Solve problems effectively

According to Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, there are no problems, only situations that either have to be dealt with, or accepted and left alone. While this might sound over-simplistic, it is a useful way to approach life’s difficulties. Much the same message is offered by the ‘Serenity Prayer’, which advocates accepting the things we can’t change, having the courage to change the things we can, and having the wisdom to know the difference.

Tolle argues that if you spend too much time mulling over issues, you end up being overwhelmed by them or with thoughts of what you will do, instead of taking appropriate action to resolve them now. Research at the University of Missouri in 2007 seems to back up this philosophy. Psychologists found that when teenage girls talked about their problems excessively it made them seem much more serious than they were, and kept the girls stuck in a negative frame of mind, which led to stress and low mood.

When you focus your energies on what you can do now to solve a problem, it no longer seems insurmountable. Even taking the smallest step towards a solution today can make you feel better and more in control of your situation, which in turn reduces stress levels.

Try this:

Write down the problem.

Identify actions you can take towards resolving the problem now. For example, if you wrote: ‘I’m worried about money’, identify ways you could improve your finances. Could you earn more money either by working more hours or by generating a second income from something you could do in your spare time, such as babysitting, dog-walking, or direct selling, e.g. become an Avon representative? Could you spend less by managing your money better (see Action 8 – Take control of your spending)? If you can’t cope with your debts, could you speak to your creditors, or contact a helpful organisation like Citizens Advice or National Debtline to ask for advice?

‘I never have enough time to do everything’ – identify ways you could save time, e.g. by saying ‘no’ to things you don’t need to do, delegating tasks and adopting easier ways to do things, such as speed-cleaning your home and simplifying your beauty routine – for more ideas see Chapter 2 – Simplify Your Life.

‘I’ve got relationship problems’ – try to identify the source of the discord and what you can do about it. If it is down to lack of time for each other, think of ways you could make more time. If you have children, could you hire a babysitter to enable you to have regular ‘date nights’? If you and your partner can’t resolve your issues you might consider contacting Relate for relationship counselling.

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