30 Days to Taming Your Emotions by Deborah Smith Pegues

Author:Deborah Smith Pegues
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9780736948265
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
Published: 2014-04-26T11:24:30+00:00

Each of us comes into this world alone and we will leave alone. However, God never intended for any man to become an island unto himself. Shortly after He created Adam, God acknowledged that His work was not yet complete. “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’ ” (Genesis 2:18). So He created Eve.

While some like to cite this passage to convince single men to get married, the reality is that regardless of our gender or marital status, we were all created to be in meaningful relationships with other people. If you study the life of Jesus, you will find that He was very sociable and often attended weddings, dinners, and other social events.

The phrase “one another” appears 142 times in the New King James Version of the Bible. It is clearly God’s divine plan that we connect and communicate with other people in a mutually beneficial, satisfying, and productive way. To behave otherwise is counter to God’s purpose for His creation. And it is our responsibility to take the initiative in connecting with others. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly” (Proverbs 18:24 NKJV).

To be aloof or emotionally detached is detrimental not only to your personal life but also to your career or business. In some professions, an aloof attitude can spell the death of a relationship. Have you ever been to a doctor or other medical service provider who treated you with cold indifference? Were you eager to see him again? What judgments did you make about him?

And what about emotionally distant people who provide other services? I was shopping at a store recently and the clerk was very aloof despite my attempts to draw her out with small talk. Knowing there were other vendors in the area who sold similar products, I silently vowed to strike that store off my list for future shopping. Rest assured, when you are aloof, people are likely making judgments about you.

Now before I get my rope to hang every aloof person I’ve ever met, I confess that at times I have pretended to be aloof to avoid having people engage me in conversation, such as when I’ve wanted to read on an airplane. I usually repented and struck up a conversation since the Holy Spirit was quick to convict me for not taking advantage of an opportunity to talk about the Lord and the status of the person’s soul.

Perhaps, for reasons that you justify, you have found yourself putting emotional distance between yourself and others. What were you trying to avoid or protect yourself from? What message were you sending that you didn’t have the courage to communicate with words?

As with most negative social behavior, aloofness is learned in childhood. An aloof person may have experienced a range of negativity in her family of origin or at the hands of unwise teachers, authority figures, or mean classmates. Such experiences include moving frequently to different

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