10 Reasons Not to Date a Witch by Virginia Nelson

Author:Virginia Nelson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: romantic comedy, paranormal romantic comedy, witch, vampire, contemporary romance, magical romance, Magic and mayhem
Publisher: Virginia Nelson
Published: 2018-10-22T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Reason #7 - They’re often broke.

Wands ain’t cheap, yo.

Aubrey

Instead of risking my mother seeing me, I carefully zapped myself into my own bedroom.

You know, into my closet, so she wouldn’t know I was home. There was, after all, a chance that she’d just leave if I didn’t answer the door, right? A thud and scurrying sounds behind me alerted me to Kelly rematerializing with me, seconds before my wonderful raccoon muttered, “The closet?”

“Shh!” I hissed. “She might hear you.”

No sooner did I speak the words than my closet door popped open to reveal my mother, standing on the other side, one hand on her elegant hip and her brow arched in annoyance. “I’ve heard of parents struggling because their children came out of the closet, and they weren’t prepared for it, but I’ve never once seen an article about what to do if your adult child won’t come out of the closet.” Her tone was dry, and her pouty lips thinned in her irritation.

“I was getting something,” I lied. “And since when do you barge into someone else’s home when they’re not there?”

“You are here,” my mother pointed out reasonably. Icy platinum hair with a tint of lavender was swept over her shoulder in a precise and orchestrated move as she turned away from me. In seconds, she’d perched with her legs crossed on my bed. “And hopefully we’re not going to visit with you still in there. What were you supposedly getting, by the way?”

If she hoped that calling me out for my obvious lie was going to get me to confess to it, she had another thing coming. I was getting something, by the wand, and I was sticking to that story.

“This!” I chirped reaching for the nearest thing on the shelf. When I came away with a bright purple dildo that was over a foot long—gag gift from someone’s bachelorette party game—my eyes widened.

“Sweetheart, I know you’ve been single for a long time, but surely things haven’t gotten that desperate, have they?” my mother asked without missing a beat.

“I thought I’d put it on the coffee table as a decoration,” I lied. “Purple is such a great color for the autumn, don’t you think?” I whacked the heavy rubber schlong against my palm experimentally, surprised at the heft of the thing. It was dusty, having been stashed in the top of my closet for who knew how long, but no way was I gently rubbing a purple dick to remove the accumulation with my mother in the room.

“Far be it for me to interrupt,” she said with false kindness. “Please, feel free to place that on your coffee table, then we’ll talk.”

Gritting my teeth, I did as she’d advised, watching the thing wobble for a second before straightening to tower over my potted jade plant. “It looks wonderful,” I lied. “Come check it out, Mom.”

“We need to talk,” Mom replied. “And not about your poor decorating choices.”

I darted a glance to Kelly. “You didn’t tell me she was already inside,” I accused in an angry whisper.

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