Zombie Apocalypse Serial #2 by Tyorbrains Ivana E

Author:Tyorbrains, Ivana E. [Tyorbrains, Ivana E.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2012-04-22T04:30:00+00:00

Timothy

Ahh….local news. Is there anything goofier than an Action 7 special report where a cute little twenty-something looks in the camera and talks in severe tones, and then cuts away to get reaction from local residents?

“Well, I never heard of him, myself, but it sounds like he’s a dangerous man,” says neighborhood fixture Joe Blowdriguez.

“They oughta make a law. Nobody should be allowed to just build a giant house out in the woods like that,” says Jane Doelona, who is clearly an expert since they put her television.

The ten o’clock news was all about me on this night. A high speed chase. Disappearance on the campus of New Mexico Tech. Suspicion that I may have taken a woman named Lola Romero hostage…

If only they know. If anyone was the hostage here it was me. After bolting all the way to Flagstaff, Lola and I shacked up at the Hampton Inn, and she proceeded to ravish me for three hours straight, all the while talking dirty in a most university administrator-like way.

Oh Timothy….you have such a huge endowment!

We only took a break so she could go to the sex toys shop down the street and come back with new lingerie and goodies. She was disappointed when I insisted on no restraints. I’d barely escaped becoming the imprisoned character in The Stand. I wasn’t about to toy with my life turning into Gerald’s Game.

We were so busy that night in Flagstaff it wasn’t until the next day, on the road to Vegas, that I became aware of what was happening on Planet Gulag. Usually I kept tabs on those guys, as they’re the only ones who ever really kept tabs on me, but with all the chaos of IRS and FBI agents, I just wasn’t able to pay attention to what they were up to. I had missed all the programming dedicated solely to me.

“We have just two days left, people,” said the Witch Doctor, one of three hosts on the radio program. “Then Timothy Frye’s virus is unleashed on the world.”

He was totally right, of course, except on one minor detail. It wasn’t a virus. It was a robotic plague. How did they know so much about my plan?

“There is still time for you to get out, and I wish to give you that chance,” said the radio announcer.” In a few hours, patient zero will contract the sickness, and begin infecting those around him…”

So that was it. The letter…I’d practically forgotten about the letter! I had stopped in San Antonio and given a handwritten letter to a black woman on the Riverwalk. They were reading my letter on the air.

How in God’s name did the Planet Gulag people get the letter? How had they figured out so quickly that it was me? Had that woman been a conspiracy nut? No…she couldn’t have been. She looked so normal. She looked like such an everyday lady just trying to get through the trials of life. That was why I gave her the letter.

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