Your Default Settings: Adjust Your Autopilot to Build a More Stable and Impactful Life by Rad Wendzich
Author:Rad Wendzich [Wendzich, Rad]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781734213713
Published: 2019-12-11T23:00:00+00:00
Some shared ideologies are helpful because they ensure structure and order in our lives. Others (especially the “limited ideologies”) may make you spend time on things you don’t care about. They can push you to strive for a specific goal but can also make you blind to options that are better for you. Or they may make you fear something you haven’t tried, even if there’s no real reason to be afraid.
So, how do we change a default belief? As with other default settings, it comes down to the three steps of exposure to new experiences, reflection, and commitment.
For example, my beliefs about success changed when I was seventeen. I picked up a book called Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray. Before this, I subscribed to the common belief that “success” basically meant becoming a millionaire. But Ray’s definition of success proposed harmony across five areas: financial, relational, mental, physical, and spiritual. That framing resonated with me, and so my pursuit of success became more about developing positive habits in each of these five areas rather than a pursuit of just money. When I write New Year’s resolutions, I write a goal for each of the categories. Last year, the list included rebalancing my stock market portfolio, bi-weekly workouts, a better diet, regular meditation, and scheduled dates with my wife. Without coverage across those five areas, I don’t consider my list complete. This one book helped me redefine success, which allowed me to reframe my goals.
It can be helpful to think of the limited ideologies as spectrums where your default setting is one point on the scale. Political views are one example—the scale ranges from conservative to liberal, with most people’s opinions falling somewhere in the middle. In everyday life, we amass items with an approach that’s somewhere on the spectrum of extravagance (acquiring and collecting possessions) to minimalism (removing or recycling extra stuff). There are also many ways to celebrate holidays, which themselves are a limited ideology. Thanksgiving can be a planned family event with turkey and football, or an event that changes every year, with friends instead of family and no TV playing in the background. You should decide what you want your default to be.
When beliefs are deep-seated within your country, family, or group of friends, it’s hard to even notice them. To find out when you should diverge from your community’s default, there are four things you can do: (1) Question moments when a tradition feels like an obligation, (2) challenge popular stereotypes, (3) be skeptical of joining long lines and large crowds, and (4) be skeptical of recurring events, especially when you can’t describe their benefit. Then identify the opposite end in the spectrum of that ideology and choose a new point that energizes you and feels right for where you want to take your life.
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