You Be You by Drew Canole

Author:Drew Canole
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2018-08-29T16:00:00+00:00

Next, I asked her to step back into the present and consider the same series of questions I’d just asked, but in the context of her current relationship with John.

What do you like about the roles you and John play in your relationship?

How do those positive aspects shape your current reality?

What do you wish were different?

The answers were eye-opening, and Bonnie began to cry. The truth was, she’d been judging herself as weak, based on the reality she had learned to create as a small child. She had carried pieces of that with her—as we all do—and they had greatly shaped her beliefs about what she “should” be as a wife and mother. After going through this exercise, she had a better understanding of how her past programming was affecting her beliefs about her relationship with John. This was the missing link to her confidence.

Bonnie had been afraid to make more money than John because she didn’t want him to feel like “less of a man,” simply put, or like she didn’t need him anymore. These feelings were real and valid, and now she was able to share them in a way that felt empowering instead of shaming. I encouraged her to make some time to share this with her husband and to be okay with her fears, to embrace all her emotions. Doing so would allow John to feel safe to do the same, and together they could make a decision that felt good for both of them.

When Bonnie sat down with John, she expressed her fears and explained that when she was growing up, her father had made comments constantly about it being the man’s job to provide and take care of the household. He’d always said this with such pride, and her mother seemed to agree wholeheartedly. When she would tell her parents about her dreams of holding a good job like her dad’s, they would both assure her that her husband would do that, and that she should worry more about taking care of the home. This felt strange for her, because deep down she wanted more, but she didn’t know any different. And all her friends growing up were being taught the same story.

John held her and smiled, thanking her for her vulnerability. They discussed the opportunity she had in front of her and her desire to grow, and John was incredibly supportive. Bonnie went for the promotion—and guess what? She got it! Today Bonnie is thriving in both her personal life and her professional life because she chose to face her fears and to say yes to herself.

Does any of this sound like you? Do you feel like being “successful” will push people away or change things with those you love? The truth is, success looks different for everyone, and people react to change on all sorts of levels. But these are not reasons for you to dim your light.

The opportunity to evolve by following your heart and allowing it to lead you to the places that scare you is a gift.

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