Workplace Warfare: How to Survive Incompetent Colleagues, Horrible Bosses and Organizational Theatrics by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0000000000000
Published: 2021-11-07T06:57:29+00:00

Fighting Capabilities

Different warriors have different fighting capabilities. Archers, for example, are long-range fighters, who position themselves behind fortification or go on horseback to execute offense. Foot soldiers, for example, are in the frontlines, and engage in close combat. Elite squads, for example, try to sneak behind enemy lines and engage in stealthy tactics. In this same line of argument, Management and Staffers have different offensive strategies, different defenses and different ammunition.

At the outset, let’s not pretend that Staff and Management are equals. They’re not. Toe to toe, Staffers look like Gomer Pyle, while Managers look like Sergeant Carter. Gaww-lee, that’s an apt comparison is it not? In countries where labor laws are more partial towards workers, such as Belgium, France and Sweden (see article by Eisenbrey), Gomer Pyle gets an extra bullet and a thicker protective vest against Management. However, in countries where labor laws are weak, and various forms of modern-day slavery exist, such as India, China and Pakistan (see article in The Hindu), Gomer Pyle gets a gag over his mouth and shackles on his feet. Despite the variable deviation between Staff and Management, we can still look at the fighting capabilities of Staffers and Managers separately.

Let’s start with Staffers. Staffers have limited defense capabilities. They tend to be stronger in offense rather than in defense. Why is that? Well, firstly, Staffers can’t defend themselves too well because they are not a united contingent, as has been discussed earlier. Staffers by and large tend to be individualized, seeking remuneration and satisfaction only for themselves. Another reason why Staffers cannot defend themselves all too well is that Staffers are constantly being evaluated against a performance benchmark by Management. Any deviation from that benchmark, and Staffers would have to justify their underperformance to Management. Accordingly, Staffers do not have a lot of defensive strategies on their part. Some defensive strategies include keeping silent in order to prevent themselves from being misunderstood, misquoted or misinterpreted, placing mirrors on their desks to prevent themselves from being spied on, and minimizing contact with Management. However, Staffers have a lot of offensive capabilities at their disposal. Staffer offensives can run the gamut from the light attacks, such as spreading gossip about a certain dislikeable colleague, to heavy attacks such as industrial action. Various tactics have been discussed in Chapter 1 regarding how one can maneuver around various types of colleagues. Some of these maneuvers are offensive, while others are defensive.

Comparatively, the Manager, on the other hand, is a warrior with a heavy set of defense and offense. Light defenses and attacks don’t work so well for the Manager as warrior. Being vested with powers by the organization, Managers stand as defenders of the organization. They’re like the Centurions we see in Asterix comics. On their own, they already possess a pretty solid shield. When they’re in tortoise formation (tetsudo), they become impenetrable (to most, save for the Gauls). They will stand together to protect their entire contingent. Zigackly. Ferpectly right. For a more in-depth look at Roman military tactics, look up Cowen’s and Rance’s works.

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