Workplace Poker: Are You Playing the Game, or Just Getting Played? by Dan Rust

Author:Dan Rust
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2016-03-14T14:00:00+00:00

The overconfidence of extreme Teflon Rhinos may cause them to underprepare.

So rational discomfort, uncertainty, or fear of potential rejection is a very good thing, because it can serve as a wake-up call—a flashing warning beacon—indicating you need more information, more preparation, more experience. Once you have those, the rational fear should fade away.

But fear of potential rejection isn’t always rational—sometimes it isn’t based on an objective understanding of the situation—and this means that increasing your knowledge, experience, or skill level won’t make it go away. Irrational discomfort can take many forms. Some salespeople spend countless hours practicing their answers to objections yet still can’t shake the feeling that a customer or a prospect is going to come up with an objection they can’t answer adequately. Some people work hard to “connect” with others at work, to establish rapport with colleagues, and in fact often do develop strong bonds with people, yet they still can’t shake the feeling that others secretly think poorly of them.

At its most basic level, this is an irrational fear of not being liked. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked, but taken to an extreme, a compulsive need to be liked can inhibit your abilities at work. You may come across as a bit too friendly, a little too accommodating. While your coworkers will like you, they’re less likely to respect you.

But it doesn’t always have to be that direct or dramatic. Irrational fear of potential rejection can manifest itself as occasional procrastination or indecisiveness. Even laziness, boredom, and negative thinking can all be signs that a person may be holding back due to irrational fear of potential rejection or judgment.

Over time, if it’s not dealt with, this irrational fear can blossom into desperation, overreacting to failure, sabotaging yourself and others, not keeping commitments, going overboard on people pleasing, trying to be someone you’re not.

Almost all people have to deal with both rational and irrational fears during the course of their career. With irrational fear, often the only effective answer is to push through the fear. If you recognize how much the hesitation is costing you in terms of career progress, this can help push you forward. And the more often you push yourself through the irrational fear, the easier it becomes to push through other irrational fears as your career progresses.

A good example is Debra Adamo, who is the creative director for Red Leather, a creative design agency with offices in New York, San Francisco, and Atlanta. Her career progress has been unusual to say the least, and she could easily have ended up as an art teacher in suburban Chicago had she not addressed her rational and irrational fears effectively.

As Debra describes the path her career has taken, it’s clear that her ability to handle disappointment, uncertainty, and rejection—or lack thereof—has been a decisive factor. “I wanted to be an artist, a painter, and everyone in high school and college reinforced how talented I was. I loved art school, it was the best time of my life,” she says.

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