Workers' Tales by Rosen Michael

Author:Rosen, Michael
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Princeton University Press
Published: 2018-03-21T16:00:00+00:00

The Doll Shop

Frank Starr, 1903

The Boy-child badly wanted a doll, a Man-doll, and the kind Earth Mother, who seldom refuses her children’s earnest requests, took his hand and led him to the great World Arcade. Here were toys innumerable, miniature Yeomanry, tiny Venezuelan gunboats, and almost as tiny British and German battleships—everything that a Statesman-child could desire. But the Boy-child wanted a Man-doll, other toys he would not. And so they passed on to the Civilisation Depot of Messrs. Soci, Ology and Co. This, of course was not the only civilisation. All the shopkeepers had Savage and Civilisation Departments, and some few even added Civil branches. At the firm of Diplomacy (Limited), for instance, you purchase your Maxim-gun solution at the Barbaric counter; the Civilisation Store supplied you with the new Christmas Ultimatum Game; while, in the section devoted to civil toys, Penruddocke Engimas, Penrhyn Anachronisms (or Out-of-date Tyrannies),1 Trade Union Legislative Anomalies, and a host of other curious puzzles were obtainable.

But Messrs. Soci, Ology and Co. dealt only in dolls and their belongings, and here it was that the Boy-child stood open-mouthed at the hundreds upon hundreds of different species.

“A nice Man-doll, Ma’am? Certainly. We have all sorts and conditions of Man-dolls. Here is one we call the Proletaire. Rather a cheap article. Spoilt in the making, in my opinion, Ma’am. You see the material’s good, but there’s not sufficient padding. Indeed, they do tell me a very inferior class of sawdust is used, and, as I said before, not nearly enough of that.”

“Talk? Well, you can hardly call it talking, Ma’am. It makes a kind of inarticulate gurgle when pressed very hard. The principal thing I can say in its favour is that it stands a lot of knocking about. Possibly because it has little beauty to lose. But it really is a fact, this common, cheap, half-filled doll will sometimes last out two of the higher priced ones.”

“The little boy doesn’t like it in those clothes? Oh, but it has many different suits. The one it is now wearing we call the West Ham or Picturesque Rags suit. Then we have the Hodge or Distressed Labourer costume; the Tommy Atkins and Returned Reservist uniforms; the Police or Civil Protector livery, the Jack Tar, the Lifeboatman, and a hundred other suits.2 In fact, the peculiarity of this doll is, Ma’am, that he’ll fit almost anything. Why we have one or two specimens arrayed in the M.P. or Representative Legislation dress, and very well they look, but somehow the public doesn’t take kindly to them yet.”

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