Winter Seedlings by Julie Roberts Towe

Author:Julie Roberts Towe [Towe, Julie Roberts]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Stitched Wing Publishing
Published: 2014-05-26T05:37:13+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

The door was left unlocked. I didn’t think about locking it when I left. I didn’t think about Allie at all. I take the door knob in my hand and horrible images flash through my mind. Guilt rises up as if I have caused her death, but maybe she is sleeping soundly and unharmed. I push the door open and see her sitting on the edge of her bed, crying into her hands. I didn’t think I could hate myself more, but I do right now. Whatever has happened, happened because of me.

I shut the door behind me and turn to lock it. I pause briefly, stalling, staring at the brush strokes left when someone painted it beige. They remind me of saplings in winter, long vertical lines. I want to get lost in them, dreading what I have to face when I turn around. I touch the door and suddenly all the trees are just paint strokes again.

Taking a deep breath, I turn to face her. Allie is no longer sitting up, but fallen over on her side on the bed. Her feet are still on the floor, her hands still over her face. She is still crying.

I walk to her, but my body feels as light as air. The sound of my feet walking across the carpet is indistinguishable from the beat of my heart. I can’t tell where my body separates from the room.

I climb onto the bed behind her and tentatively rest my hand on her arm. Her skin is soft and warm. My hand must feel like ice to her. I should move it away, but when I try, it doesn’t go anywhere. I give up, let it stay, and lower my head to the pillow behind her.

“Are you okay?” My voice is weak and shaky.

“No.” She says sadly.

There isn’t a lot to go on. I try to think of what might have happened, but my brain offers me ridiculous suggestions like maybe someone came in and stole her shoes, maybe she is really hungry because I am really hungry, maybe an alien bit her arm. I mentally swat at these crazy suggestions like flies in my brain. Minutes seem like hours before I realize I will never be able to guess.

“Did someone hurt you?” My voice reminds me of a game show contestant. I don’t mean to sound this way.

Allie had been wiping her eyes, but she stops to yell at me, “Who would hurt me, Jute? Let’s see… maybe someone who says they love me but leaves me in the middle of the night. Just say it, you don’t want to be around me anymore.”

“You were sleeping!” I protest too loudly.

Allie surprises me with laughter, turning to face me with tears still covering her puffy red eyes. “I guess it serves me right after all those times I left you in the middle of the night.”

Her eyes are filling the room up with blue. I roll onto my back beside her so I don’t have to look into them.

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