Wicked Jealous: A Love Story by Palmer Robin

Author:Palmer, Robin [Palmer, Robin]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Speak
Published: 2012-07-18T23:00:00+00:00

One of the first secrets I learned about guys was that as much as they may have rolled their eyes in front of their friends in order to seem all cool and save face, they actually liked to be told what to do. Especially if the order came with the threat that if they didn’t do it, the house Xbox/DVD/Roku player/insert other high-end-electronic device here would be placed for sale on Craigslist. According to Doc—who had taken a few psychology classes at UCLA in case he decided to become a shrink instead of a plastic surgeon (“There are just as many crazy people as shallow and vain ones in this city,” he explained)—much like children, guys liked structure and boundaries. They said they didn’t, but it made them feel safe.

On Monday, at the first official meeting of what Noob officially dubbed Castillo de chicos y una chica—Spanish for the “Castle of guys and one girl” (“That Google translator thing rocks!” he cried, before then going on to spend the next half hour translating stuff like “Dude, the Wi-Fi connection in this country blows!” into Latvian), when Doc first unveiled the combination graph/pie chart he had put together detailing everyone’s chores there were a bunch of groans and moans. Once I gave them the sales pitch Doc and I had rehearsed about how much happier they would be living with order and organization rather than swimming in chaos, they began to relax. By Wednesday, although I was still triple-checking the lock on the bathroom door before I took a shower, I had gotten to the point where I was starting to relax and not feel so nervous around the guys. And also I wasn’t getting random bruises on my body from tripping over stuff that wasn’t put away.

Very quickly, I got into a nice routine. Thanks to a mention in the new hot blog “Pink Is the New Lavender, Which Is Now the New Black” (which had just been optioned as the basis for a TV show by ABC Family a few months earlier), One Person’s Garbage had gotten really busy, which meant that Brad needed help at the store. Which meant part-time jobs for Nicola and me. (I knew Hillary had been pushing Dad’s agent to try to get him the gig executive producing the show because she thought it would be good for his career to be more involved with the Millennials, but because he had been pegged as “the talking-animal guy,” the network passed.) So ever since school ended, for a few hours a day I pasted on a smile and told customers that oh yeah, of course that dress made them look like Sandra Bullock’s best friend in that movie she did toward the beginning of her career. And I was able to monitor my robin’s-egg blue dress and make sure no one bought it.

My 30 percent employee discount was going a long way in helping me assemble a wardrobe that, according to Brad, if I were

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