Why Ben? by Brooke Kinsella

Author:Brooke Kinsella [Brooke Kinsella]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781847399021
Publisher: Pocket

Chapter 9

I had my first dream about you last night. I have prayed and prayed every night for you to come and visit me, for you to just let me know that you are OK, but you haven’t yet. I read once that when somebody is badly hurt and killed, they have to spend some time in heaven healing all their wounds, so maybe that’s what you’re doing. Or maybe you’re just having too much fun up there to come and see your big sis.

It wasn’t a very nice dream but it was still so wonderful to see your familiar face. You haven’t changed one bit. I knew that you wouldn’t have because you are in my mind, in my memory, where you will stay the same forever, frozen at sixteen, but I was worried you would look different, wouldn’t look like my Ben.

In the dream you’d played a practical joke on a group of men. They were angry with you and so they decided to punish you. You had to stand outside a room while me, Mummy and Jade waited with you. They had drawn horizontal lines all up your leg, starting from your ankle and working their way up through your new tattoo. You had to wait outside the door until they called you in.

I could tell you were petrified but you kept smiling so we wouldn’t get upset. It didn’t stop us though. We were all sobbing and begging you not to go into the room but you just smiled and said you had to. ‘It will be over soon,’ you kept saying. Finally they called you into the room and when the door opened we could only see darkness before it shut again. We heard a shout and then we heard you cry and then the door opened and you limped out. When you turned around, we saw they’d sliced open one of the lines on your leg, and blood was dripping down. You just smiled bravely and said it didn’t hurt, and waited for them to call you in again.

This happened over and over again and every time I tried to wake up, tried to save us both from the pain, but I couldn’t. I had to see what happened in the end. Finally, they told you it was the last time. They had worked their way up to the last line. You looked relieved and we hugged you before you went in and waited impatiently for you to come out so we could take you home. The door opened for the last time and you came out with a sad look on your face and you smiled as I reached for you, but before I could grab you, a hand came out and in that hand was a knife – a knife that already had your blood on it and it reached up and stabbed you in the heart. Before I could catch you as you fell, I woke up crying.

As painful and horrific as this dream was, I wanted to go back.

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