Watch The Skies - v4 by James Patterson

Author:James Patterson
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Daniel X
Published: 2010-07-21T12:11:22+00:00

Chapter 47

MOM HAD ME materialize an iPhone and promptly used it to call the administrative office at school.

“Hello,” she said. “This is —” She put the phone on mute and asked me what surname I had used when I’d invented my school record.

“This is Daniel Exley’s mother calling. I’m keeping him home today.… What? You want to know why? Because I’m his mother and I say so, that’s why.… But that’s ridiculous. Why would a parent not put their child’s interest first and foremost? If I didn’t have a darn good reason for keeping him home, I wouldn’t be keeping him home.… Sick? No, he’s not sick, we just have something we need to solve here.…

“Well, that’s just plain silly. Honestly, I have never heard of anything so unreasonable. Let me ask you one more time, why would I — his mother — want to keep him home if not because I thought it best for him?… ‘Against policy’ my ashtray!

“You know what? You sound like the sort of person who would do really well as a midlevel bureaucrat in a totalitarian regime — then you could tell me straight out, ‘Hey, lady, I don’t make up the rules, I just blindly enforce them.’…

“Personal? You accuse me of getting personal, and you’re telling me how to raise my son? Fine. You want acceptable reasons why Daniel’s not coming to school? Well, stick these in your fascist helmet:

“Number ten: Daniel is attending an intergalactic symposium on ichthyological embryology today.

“Number nine: Daniel described your school as being a holding pen for the ‘criminally underinspired.’

“Number eight: Daniel has developed allergies to fluorescent lights, number two pencils, and linoleum.

“Number seven: Daniel is locked in mortal combat with an electromagnetically gifted, levitating catfish from a planet eleven thousand four hundred light-years away.

“Number six: Daniel wrote an essay for his social studies class yesterday that was so good his teacher fainted, and we don’t want to put any other educators in harm’s way.

“Number five: We’ve looked over the terms of the No Child Left Behind Act and determined that if your school is doing the driving, we’re okay with Daniel being left behind.

“Number four: Daniel’s eyes glazed over so badly during yesterday’s trigonometry class that he needs to go to the ophthalmologist today for a cleaning.

“Number three: Aliens have landed in Holliswood, and I think maybe we should reconsider our daily routine.

“Number two: Daniel’s doctor fears that if Daniel has to hear one more nonsensical, bureaucracy-inspired edict come out of your office, he may decide to flee the country.

“Number one: If Daniel came in to school today, I would instruct him to find you and turn you into something more fitting for your personality… like a potted plant.”

There was a dramatic pause.

“Would you believe it?!” she said, turning to me. “That nasty little person hung up on me!”

“It’s okay, Mom. I think she probably grokked that I won’t be showing up today.”

“That’s right. You’ve got more important things to do,” she said, taking away my bowl and shooing me and Lucky out of the kitchen.

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