Wannabe Wizard: From the Tome of Bill Universe (False Icons Book 2) by Rick Gualtieri & R. E. Carr

Author:Rick Gualtieri & R. E. Carr [Gualtieri, Rick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Freewill Press
Published: 2020-06-29T16:00:00+00:00

“Do I want to know where you got that laptop . . . and is that a cellular modem?”

“Satellite, actually.” Gary rolled on his side so he could give me a proper smirk. “Jules found it, and, no, I didn’t ask.”

I glanced at the screen. “Please tell me you’re not looking up the answers on Wikipedia.”

“No. This is the database I helped Uncle Spencer set up before he disappeared. He was working to digitize as many Magi tomes as he could, from both the coven’s holdings as well as the Amherst library. Rumor has it he even managed to surreptitiously scan a few manuscripts from the Falcon Archives before they took his access away.” At my confused look, he added, “Trust me. That’s a big deal. Anyway, one of my buds set up a three-factor authentication protocol including a cantrip to . . . and you don’t care about any of that.”

“I get it. It’s Witchipedia.”

Gary let out a deep sigh. “True genius is never appreciated. Anyway, what did you want to know?”

He was adorable when frustrated. I gave him a one-armed squeeze and stared over his shoulder. Sure enough, there was even a submenu for magical creatures. “Is there anything on death otters?”

“Wouldn’t looking up dryad wards be more useful right now?”

“Now, now, no ruining the mood with sound logic,” I replied with a wink. “Is there or isn’t there?”

The resulting article contained a terrible rendition of a big otter with a shadowy aura and glowing red eyes. On the upside, there was a bit more than I already knew, albeit not much. They were trickster spirits who enjoyed underground waterways . . . yeah been there done that. Their only known weaknesses were dogs, copper, and the urine of virgins . . . eww. How the heck did someone figure that last one out? The REDACTED could only be killed by specifically enchanted weapons . . . figured as much. Although, seriously, blacking out their name? Shades of Voldemort much? They feed on strong emotions but could be confused by positive feelings such as love . . . definitely interesting. Arcane spells were not recommended as a defense as its effects upon them were questionable at best . . . another thing I’d seen in action.

Hold on. What’s that?

“Earth to Jessie.”

“Hold on a second. Check that part out.”

“What part?”

“Tlingit legends speak of particularly powerful REDACTED taking the forms of humans to lure the hapless to their doom. These tricksters would often seduce the most powerful warriors among their enemies. Once attached to their prey, they would hound the pour soul until the end of days, with the ultimate goal of consuming them.”

Great! One stupid song about toast had apparently marked me for life. No wonder my furry friend had showed up again. He was effectively tenderizing me.

I turned toward Gary. “There’s something I didn’t tell you downstairs. Dís-One was in that cave, too.”

“What? How?”

“He found me. I think it’s because of that song I shared with him.”

“You should have said something!”

“I know, but I didn’t want anyone freaking out until .

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