Variations on the Body by María Ospina

Author:María Ospina
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Coffee House Press
Published: 2021-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

She had drawn a smiley face in pink marker under her name. Aurora read the three pages again, noticing the large, heavy letters. She thought about Jessica’s cracked heart. And could only imagine it as a glowing plastic decoration.

That night, Aurora waited for Jessica to appear at the window again but came to the conclusion that she’d gotten over her insomnia, which made her happy. The next day, she was about to go across the street and ring the bell, but she didn’t know what to say when they opened the door, so she decided against it. The day after that, she spotted a few of the young ladies clustered around the door with guitars in their hands and rushed down to be there when they stepped outside. She was glad the nuns hadn’t caught on to her fascination. They’d probably assigned all their paranoia to the men the next block over, who honed their aggressive catcalls on the young ladies.

“Behave yourselves, please. And don’t be late.”

The nun hurried back inside. Aurora noticed that Jessica had seen her, and she crossed the street to approach the group. Jessica broke off from the line of uniforms and waited for her as the others continued on. They exchanged greetings.

“Hey, thanks for your letter. Feel free to ring my buzzer if you ever feel like hanging out. Whenever you want. I’m in 401.”

Jessica smiled a little, breaking the tension of her mouth. She looked over at the others, who had turned to wait for her. Aurora’s eyes fell on the transparent hairs above her lip.

“Standing invitation. I live there alone.”

Aurora wanted to smile, to see if Jessica’s lips would unpurse, but she held back. She could never escape the feeling that her smile revealed a slight falseness, that it gave away how hard it was for her to live up to the benevolence it promised. She wanted to ask Jessica something mundane to soften her invitation but couldn’t come up with anything in time.

“No, I mean, I can’t right now. But thank you. Bye, see you soon, they’re leaving me behind.”

Jessica quickened her pace. The furrows of calculated indifference in her brow, her way of hiding the curiosity in her eyes behind their constant movement, her flirtation with cynicism, all announced, perhaps, her exile from childhood. Aurora wondered how easy it would have been to save her if she had still been a little girl.

The next morning Gilma rang Aurora’s buzzer to give her a new letter from Jessica. It came in an envelope with a floral border. Inside was a card with a photo of two puppies begging on a heart-shaped red carpet. Their gaze was softer and less disquieting than the look the dogs that Aurora sometimes visited in the pet shops in La Caracas had in their half-closed eyes as they ignored the passers-by, their hair matted with soot from the rundown city buses. Not long before she was fired, she’d arranged the set for a similar photo of puppies on a couch, which was meant to spark feelings of tenderness and joy.

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