valentine(john)-puppies by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

5/10/68

In last night toward the end of the I Ching class at Amy's came the unflawed Blake—beerdrunk to wobbling, roaringly eager to complicate matters with hash—who proceeded to inundate me with improper advances.

Since this was plainly impossible, I assumed that once again my drug-stained mind was reading implications & suggestions into his speech & behavior that he neither intended nor was aware of—my perceptions warped by my desires. Accordingly I took care not to respond to the erotic suggestions I imagined I was imagining.

The 'illusion' intensified as my outward response continued to be nonerotic & proper. It was a convincing illusion, but I've been there, no I told myself, "This isn't really happening," and blamed it on the hash, saying, "Wow! Good hash!" when Blake rested his hand by chance upon my knee.

A little later I drew Amy aside to compare notes. She also had the impression that Blake was proliferating passes at me. I was glad it wasn't the hash; Blake is prettier.

Blake's advances: sitting crosslegged on the floor beside me, smoking hash, he promoted pseudo-chance physical contact—his hand brushing my leg & lingering; our fingers touching/trembling during the hashpipe ceremony, and later in same resting his forehead against my wrist as he toked, then running his free fingers over my face as I toked, all officially accidental, all under pretense of pipe lighting; staring at me, liplicking smile, long at a time.

He also talked at length about Emil Bach, praising him with great praise, expressing profoundest love/admiration for him. Blake lived with Emil & Judy recently. He spoke vaguely but fondly of this period, emphasizing the erotic aspects of his relationship with Emil with progressively increasing energy & candor.

Segue to his worries about the draft, a problem still fairly remote from him. (How did I feel about the draft at 17? I don't recall thinking much about it until I was 18 & in college. Even then it didn't much excite me, though I enlisted in the Navy partially to escape the draft. Perhaps knowing the Navy was waiting for me spared me the draft hangup.)

Blake acted out for us his plan to fag out of the draft—trying unsuccessfully to imitate stereotyped fag limp wrist & effete speech. He repeated this performance several times, augmenting it each time with additional data & detail. Hilarity increased to match.

You couldn't tell whether his claim to be homosexual was a fiction for the Army or, masquerading as such fiction, a statement of what he thinks to be fact, aimed at my ears. He bases his claim on having lived intimately with a homosexual for a month. (Meaning Emil. But Emil's not gay. Blake doesn't understand his own strange power: in his presence few men can help being/becoming queer for him, I think, but that doesn't make them gay. Given the opportunity, not balling Blake's more unnatural than blowing a regiment.) Thinks maybe he should live in such sin with yet another homosexual for a while, just to be on the safe side.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.