Unsure by Ashe Barker

Author:Ashe Barker [Barker, Ashe]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Erotic Romance Fiction
Publisher: Totally Bound Publishing
Published: 2013-11-20T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Ten

I arrive home and let myself in. My first task is to feed Sadie, then I empty my hoodie pocket. I dump the ‘borrowed’ vibrator and lubricant on my table and sit there looking at them for a few minutes. I make myself a mug of tea then sit back down, still contemplating my new toy. I pick up the vibrator, turn it over in my hands. There’s a small switch. I flick it to the ‘on’ position and the thing starts to whir softly, the vibrations very minor. Nothing too ambitious there. Nothing especially challenging. I look closely, flick the switch again and the whirring becomes louder, the vibrations more pronounced. I flick again, and again. Each time the thing becomes more vigorous until—wow! Now that would get my attention. I flick it to the ‘off’ position and put it down. And stare at it some more.

I can work out the mechanics of how to use it. Nothing too subtle required, not rocket science. But what about technique? Is it meant to go…inside? The shape certainly suggests that but it’s a bit on the large side I’d say. Compared with Kenny, certainly. Maybe with the lubricant, though… Or maybe I could just sort of slide it around outside. That might be nice. I’m not at all sure what I’d like, what might feel best. Kenny was never much for preparation or foreplay, just preferred to get on with things, which meant getting his dick inside me as soon as he could, then a few sharp thrusts until he came. I never felt anything much, apart from relief when it was done.

I guess my sex drive is somewhere down below the floorboards, always has been. I’m not really that interested. Kenny always said I was frigid. I don’t really think I am—I’m pretty certain it was him who was crap in bed. Whatever, now I’m at a loss. I’m not sure what it was that Tom Shore did that day, but it was a definite first for me. That overwhelming, unstoppable rush of sensation, that sense of being unrestrained, weightless, spinning. That wanting to be touched, straining against his hand for more. That clenching inside as my whole body pulsed, the tingling that shot through every part of me, like electricity.

On that day my overwhelming response to Tom Shore was one of fear, shock, and blind desperation that he might turn me in to the police. But underlying that, I can now recognize the ‘more’—the something special and exciting and purely for pleasure that he also offered, and I accepted. I can acknowledge the physical response he drew from me despite my apprehension. And I’m only now beginning to recognize that I responded emotionally too, though I managed to bury that pretty well. Why else am I returning to his home week after week, enjoying his company? And now, it seems, enjoying his sex toys too. Or trying to.

I try to remember what he did, how he touched me, but it’s a blur.

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