Twelve Days of Christmas in a Highlander’s Arms by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2020-10-04T21:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 16

HAMISH GATHERED his things and was set to be on his way the very next morning. He couldn’t stay here. The very sight of Deidre made him feel like someone had cleaved his chest open and cut out his heart.

He saddled his horse and led out it out of the stables and into the courtyard. The castle was quiet, save for the clanking of dishes and noises from the kitchen.

Hamish put one foot in the stirrup and was about to mount up and ride off, leaving Deidre and Maeve forever. But he couldn’t bring himself to. His arms wouldn’t pull his body up into the saddle, his leg wouldn’t push off the ground.

Just do it…

It was as though invisible hands held him back. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to go back to his life as a lone wolf.

But what could he do? Where could he go from here? He could go back to Innis and stay with her for a while. Find another job. Go north and negotiate a better price for that island he wanted from the MacDonalds.

Build a house.

Get tenants.

Live alone, always in control of everything. Far away from the two people he longed for the most.

Wind swooshed past him, throwing a handful of prickly snow into his face. That would be his only company on his estate. Wind. Silence. No one to talk to. No one to care for. No heartbreak. No risk. Full control.

“Lord Hamish?” a small voice said behind him.

With his heart aching, he turned around. Maeve stood before him, the gosling chirping in her hands. She wore a woolen cloak with a cape over her head. She stared at him with those big, black eyes.

His eyes.

“Aye, lass?”

“Are ye leaving us?”

“I am.”

She pursed her lips in a grimace. “’Tis why Ma is so sad?”

He swallowed. “Is she?”

“Aye. She came to my new bed last night. We’re nae used to sleeping apart. I heard her cry.”

Hamish was ready to punch himself in the stomach. “Did she say ’twas because of me?”

“Nae.”

“Then ’tis probably isna. She probably just missed ye.”

“Thank ye for helping my granda find my ma. I still dinna ken why Ma got lost and couldnae find her way back.”

’Twas because of me.

“Dinna matter now, birdie. Ye’re with family now.”

“I only wish my da was here, too.”

A sharp pain pierced him right through the middle.

Yer da is here…

“I wish that for ye, too, lass.”

He could be. He only needed to say a word. He only needed to let go and allow himself to feel. To take the risk that something might go wrong.

The pain of his heart breaking tore him apart. How awful was it going to feel being away from Deidre and Maeve, to never see them again? Maybe being with the people he loved was better than isolating himself, even if it brought the potential for pain.

Maybe they could get through whatever life brought together.

Of course, he’d need to convince Deidre she could trust him, that he’d rather cut his own heart out than betray and reject his daughter.

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