Torn: (#12 The Beat and The Pulse) by Amity Cross

Author:Amity Cross [Cross, Amity]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-06-19T16:00:00+00:00

After our first night together, things started to get a little muddy.

Lawson and I saw each other every other night for two weeks and every day at work. The cooking classes and my day-to-day admin went smoothly, but he was always in the back of my mind, wreaking havoc.

We talked a lot about nothing in particular, and his past was still elusive. We kissed a lot, and somehow, despite feeling how excited he was to be in a compromising position with me, Lawson always found a way to cool things off. The moment my hands found their way into his boxers, he tugged them out. On more than one occasion, I’d gone home and fingered some of my own satisfaction.

The thing that pissed me off was the fact I was ready for things to go further, and he knew. He knew and said nothing about it. In fact, he dodged all the hard questions, especially those not related to his cock.

I’d never connected to someone like I had with Lawson. We’d gotten to know one another quite well—well enough for sex to be on the plate and have it mean more than a passing flirtation.

We were outside of Phoenix exactly two weeks after that blistering kiss in the kitchen, and the night was swirling around us when my anxiety got the best of me.

Lawson stood close to me as I locked up the gym for the night—a responsibility Simon passed onto me more and more often, bless his irresponsible soul—and it was all I could do to keep it together. The classic over-thinker in me was about to explode. I’d been over all the scenarios so many times that they’d all bled into one big mess.

Lawson was hard and still didn’t touch me. I wanted him skin on skin. I wanted him to make me come. So why wouldn’t he? Something had to be wrong with me. I was the common denominator in all my failed relationships, after all.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when I turned around.

I shook my head, pursing my lips. It sounded stupid the more I thought about it. I was pissed he didn’t want to have sex with me. Was I so shallow?

“Amber.”

I buried my hands around the lapels of his jacket and pulled him close. It wasn’t exactly the best conversation to have on a busy street.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me.

“I…” I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the knot in my throat. “I’m frustrated.”

His eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

I snorted and lowered my gaze. I felt my entire body tense, and there was no way he missed it.

“I’m complicated,” he murmured into my ear. “I’m messed up, Amber. You know that. We’ve talked about it.”

“That’s it,” I retorted. “We’ve talked, we’ve kissed, we’ve reached the line… I want to cross the line.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I want…”

“Say it,” he said, his voice taking on a husky tone.

“Here?” I glanced around at all the shops, cars, and pedestrians around us.

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