To All the Penises I've Ever Known: Erotic Shorts by Lori Schafer by Lori Schafer

Author:Lori Schafer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: erotic comedy, erotic anthology of short stories, erotic humorous, stories about sex and relationships, erotica humor, stories about sex, erotic adult humor, erotic bisexual sex, erotic collection short stories, stories about polyamory

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WEEKEND AWAY

“I was thinking maybe we could go away for the weekend,” Jesse said, interrupting my post-coital attempt at slumber. He hadn’t quite gotten the hang of my no-talking-after-sex rule yet. It didn’t really matter, though; I wasn’t listening anyway.

“Um-hmm,” I answered sleepily, touching the tip of my tongue to the roof of my mouth. It tasted like semen. Or maybe it was my tongue that tasted like semen; maybe my mouth just tasted like mouth.

“Really?” he said brightly. “You want to?” I half-tilted my head towards him and he bent down off his elbow to kiss me. His mouth tasted like pussy. His tongue did, too.

“Want to what?” I answered, rolling over onto the side on which I always slept, hoping that would prompt him to get going. I did think it was polite the way he always waited until I was asleep to leave. Of course, he never had to wait very long.

“Go away for the weekend,” he repeated.

I sat straight up, my breasts snapping to attention as they jerked to a halt in front of me. This was not the kind of big bang I’d been expecting when I’d asked him to come over tonight.

“You mean, like, a trip somewhere? I don’t know, Jesse,” I said with trepidation, staring hard at him as if he’d suggested something highly irregular. He had, after all. We were only supposed to be friends with benefits. A weekend away sounded suspiciously like a “couple” kind of deal.

“Come on, Cindy,” he urged, scootching over to me and bundling me up in his arms like a hairy haystack. “Wouldn’t you like to get sweaty someplace else for a change?” he prompted, purposefully pressing his loose limbs into all of my good places.

I looked at him and sighed. I never had been able to resist that man. Even when he didn’t smell like fresh pussy.

“Where did you have in mind?” I asked, thinking I was bound to regret asking.

“Not far, not far,” he answered hurriedly, scrambling to grab his pants up off the floor and digging a brochure out of the back pocket. “See, there’s a lake here, only a couple of hours north of us. We can rent a cabin.” He studied me hopefully.

“A couple of hours?” I said doubtfully. “Sounds like a long drive.”

“No longer than that trip we took to the city that time,” he reminded me.

“Yeah, but that was before we – ” I stopped short. I didn’t know why it mattered. We’d always spent a lot of time together, even before the clothes started coming off. But I guess I thought it was safer, somehow, to minimize our non-naked activities now that we were engaging in so many naked ones. “Before we were all old and stiff and stuff,” I corrected myself.

“You were thirty-nine!” he retorted.

“And now I’m forty,” I replied. “What if my hip goes out?”

“Then I guess that’ll mean no more nookie for you,” he responded.

The horror must have shown in my face, because in seconds

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