Tidy the F*ck Up by Messie Condo

Author:Messie Condo
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781631585456
Publisher: Racehorse
Published: 2019-05-14T16:00:00+00:00

No, you don’t need an Ethernet cable

Let me guess: somewhere in your house, you have a bin full of cables, cords, chargers, adapters, old phones, an old Nintendo DS, and a flashlight? Maybe you keep your lightbulbs in there, too. And you can’t tell one thing from another because it’s a tangled mess.

First, deal with everything that’s not a cord: Give the lightbulbs their own designated place before you break them. Put the flashlight in your nightstand so you have easy access if you need it. (Make sure it has working batteries.) Reset and donate the old phones and their chargers to charity. And find a new home for that DS you haven’t used in five years—somewhere there’s a six-year-old girl or a 22-year-old guy who would love to have it.

Finally, tackle the snake pit. We tend to hold on to every cord that crosses our paths because we might need it. But if you’ve been keeping up, you know that “I might need it” is a bullshit excuse to hoard unnecessary crap. So if it doesn’t plug into something you own, it goes. If it plugs into something you don’t use, they both go.

Pair up the adapters with their appliances and keep matching sets together from now on. Any adapters that are left over are probably from something you threw away years ago, so you clearly don’t need them. Toss the Ethernet cable you’ve had since 1998 and any TV cables you’re holding on to—your TV is already hooked up and cables are cheap if you need them.

Finally, go through your chargers and ditch any that are frayed or don’t work with your current phone. Put a current one everywhere you might need one (desk, car, purse, nightstand). If you have any leftovers, keep ONE spare and donate the rest. There’s no fucking excuse for “I might need it” here. You can buy a new one pretty much anywhere but the Taco Bell drive-thru (for now).

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