The Vampire Memoirs by Traci Briery & Mara McCuniff

Author:Traci Briery & Mara McCuniff [Briery, Traci & McCuniff, Mara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Vampires, Horror, Occult & Supernatural
ISBN: 9780821733400
Publisher: Zebra
Published: 1991-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

I gave up trying to kill myself after that incident. Agyar knew I wanted to die, but he also knew all the ways he could foil my attempts. Usually he used his "calling" power to keep me around so I couldn't try anything. Or hypnosis, when I was being especially cranky. I never bothered to try resisting him at that point; I had no hope anymore.

Another surprise awaiting me was the arrival of the full moon, which came shortly after my children's visit. I noticed that before it arrived I was getting more and more hungry, but not for blood. As the time grew nearer I often caught myself unconsciously… well, rubbing myself. And then the full moon itself arrived.

I was in a daze. Not just every man, but every thing looked attractive to me, at least those that had the right shape. Even Agyar started looking appealing, and before I knew what was happening, we were both running from the house and into the forest, where we threw ourselves to the ground and gave in to our passions.

Gave in completely. I had barely a rational thought in my head as we lay on the ground all night long, relieving ourselves, as it were. What intelligence was still there was so thoroughly repulsed by what I was doing that the only way I saved my sanity was to make Agyar faceless. I made his face, his name, everything about him a blur, for once I realized who I was with, I might have gone completely mad from disgust. There was no love here, only blind, savage lust. And through the night we were surrounded by wolves, who had been called to us by our passions, and they copulated all around us, as though we were some undead Aphrodites who caused the animals to mate. And this happened all three nights of the full moon.

Afterward I was certain the whole thing had been a nightmare, but Agyar delighted in telling me it was real, all of it. I wouldn't look him in the eye for two weeks afterward and only spoke when forced to. Eventually I told him that he had raped me. That got him a good laugh. Raped? As though I had actually been resisting him. See what happens next moon, and see if you are "raped" again, he told me.

I shed no more tears over him. They had dried out long ago. I couldn't even cry for Gaar anymore, and that's what really hurt. I had numbed myself to nearly all feelings just to help me cope with Agyar's abuses. Now I am able to mourn for him; it's simply that while with Agyar, I had no choice but to keep it inside.

I had some consolation in knowing that Leta and the children were safe, that they would never succumb to my fate. Unless Agyar lied to me about that, and they were raptured and killed, but I doubt it. It is more likely that he would gloat about something like that rather than cover it up.

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