The Thinking Man's Guide to Life by Alfred Tong

Author:Alfred Tong
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Hardie Grant (UK)
Published: 2018-03-21T16:00:00+00:00

Can megawatt charm be taught, acquired or developed? Or is it innate? There have been no scientific studies of charm; but there are lots of dodgy people on the internet offering to make you more charming in just three easy steps. They’re usually American. So no, it can’t be measured and condensed into a pat formula. But it is delicious. And deadly. Charm – enjoy it. But don’t be charmed by it.

BE NICE TO EVERYONE

Whether bike courier or maître d’, heiress or tycoon, treat everyone with the same generosity of spirit: polite and interested, but never intrusive. Stephen Bayley, author of Charm, writes: ‘Assume you have secret knowledge that every single person you meet will soon become very rich.’

DRESS WELL

Oscar Wilde wrote in The Picture of Dorian Gray, ‘It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.’ The charming man needs only one chance to make a good impression, and that will usually be in clothes which are simple and timeless, regardless of the relative formality of the situation he finds himself in. For instance, he won’t wear a tuxedo to a house party – that would be stupid. But he won’t dress like a moron hipster either. While it may be foolish to care too much about fashion, it is even more foolish to completely disregard appearances. You will be judged, and to think otherwise is evidence of an inherently basic intellect.

CHARM NEEDS AN AUDIENCE

Charm does a lot of its best work at parties and dinners. It is a social weapon. So parties in this sense are work. Enjoyable work, but still an arena in which to advance your interests. But subtly, of course. A charmer never ‘networks’ or ‘schmoozes’, or that equally horrible phrase, ‘presses the flesh’. Instead, he makes friends, and he does so by being interested in and amused by others.

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