The Strong Woman Trap by Sasha Mobley

Author:Sasha Mobley [Sasha Mobley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2018-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Stage a Rebellion

I built my rebellion muscle early on.

Back in my twenties, I was partnered with a woman who was highly extroverted and loved the holiday season. To be honest, we were both into the holidays. We always had a decorated tree that we invited friends over to decorate with us. We went to parties, spent time with our families, and generally enjoyed the colorful fun of the season.

One year, all the visiting and spending time with others just burnt me out. After cooking two holiday dinners by myself to entertain my own family and friends, my lovely partner volunteered me to cook for her cousins, who were visiting her family. Don’t get me wrong, these were lovely people–and I love to cook–but I noticed that with every thought about it, my entire body felt like I was wearing a lead suit. I just couldn’t face another evening of cooking and socializing. I needed a break!

I chose to not go. I gave my partner a recipe card for my beef stew and told her she could call me if she needed advice, but I was going nowhere that evening. She wasn’t happy about it, and her family wondered, “What’s wrong with Sasha?”

I don’t remember exactly what I did with my evening, but I believe it included putting my feet up and watching a movie. All I know is that when I think back on that night, and being willing to make that choice, my body relaxes a little and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Disobedience can be the most delicious thing ever. It can also save you.

Only a couple years ago, I had a manager who invited me to work on his team. I was super excited. We talked about plans that potentially included travel, and we projected how my experience would be used on his newly-created product development team. Once I came on board, he relegated me to the task of “communications.” I was confused. This was an engineering group, and I had just come off a project where I was leading engineers in a data center migration. I also noticed the “communications” role was poorly defined, and my so-called mission was supposed to get the larger organization interested in what the engineering team was doing.

So, newsletters.

I had no interest in this position as it was actually drawn up. I had joined the team because I wanted to influence the direction of our platform. It wasn’t a fit. But rather than say that directly, right off the bat, I decided to watch and wait. Maybe it would work out. Maybe he had a plan.

No, he didn’t. His manager didn’t understand my background, and had told my new boss he doubted my ability to work in such a highly technical environment. He thought I could bob along doing newsletters and editing PowerPoint slides for six months, and then they would revisit my role.

This was not going to work out.

Initially, I decided to be a good sport and give it a shot.

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