The Relic Box Set by Ben Zackheim

Author:Ben Zackheim [Zackheim, Ben]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-04-04T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter 23

“They can’t be serious,” Rebel said.

We were in a rental car office which is like being in a porn shop without the porn. We’d left the boat without discussing it further because Harry was laughing too hard at our predicament and wondering if he should track the twins down to join them.

“Whatever the alcohol did to them may have messed up their heads,” I said.

“Or they’ve been possessed,” Fox said.

But I’d felt their anger in Iceland. They’d always been rebellious teens. Maybe they’d grown into stupid adults.

“We’ll deal with them later. Let’s get home and regroup. Rebel, call the librarian.”

“I think we should do the research without him,” she said, predictably. Lucas, my librarian, was another ally that Rebel wished would accidentally fall on her fingers. He’s not really a he, though. Or a she. More an it, I guess. The demon dresses like a man, talks like a woman and eats like a lion. I call him a he to save time and he doesn’t seem to mind.

“You really want to look through dick books for the next two days?” I asked.

“What’s his number again?” I gave her a look and she dialed. She knew the number.

“What is his number?” Fox asked, curious.

“Same number every demon has,” I said. “*666 or 666-6666.”

“The last 6 is for savings,” Rebel mumbled, phone to her ear.

She sighed and Fox and I got to listen to her try to be polite.

“Luke! Hey, it’s Rebel. How are you? Oh, sorry to hear that. That’s a lot of phlegm, wow. Listen, we’ll be home in about an hour and… I don’t think we have time to pick up any medicine, sorry. So Kane is hoping you’ll help us do some research on shields and penises. Penises. Penises! Yeah? Great. No, it is great, really. That’s not true, you’re very handsome. We’llseeyousoonbye.”

She hung up and slapped her head against the headrest. Five times.

“Why the hell do you keep him around? He’s so fucking insecure.”

“If you had a dad like his, you’d be insecure too,” I joked. “I keep him because he’s like having an ugly, walking Google for the Dark Web.”

I lived in Westchester, New York in a mansion on a mile square plot of land. The house was smack dab in the middle of the mile, which led to its nickname Halfway House. A play on words by the twins who were orphans like me. I liked my privacy. I also liked to see the enemy coming from far away.

My parents bought the land and built the first house on it back in 1976. It burned down on my first mission as a Spirit agent. I built the second house smaller, sticking with the rooms I loved or needed. Bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, ten car garage and, most importantly, the library. Then that house got messed up on the Excalibur mission. So I rebuilt again with some slight modifications, including a pool that wove through every room of the house. Hey, I liked to swim.

We arrived home just in time to see Lucas the librarian demon emerge on my garage roof.

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