The Redemption of Nixon Thorne by T Steele

Author:T Steele [Steele, T]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-03-23T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15

Ella

Nixon stands before me, a pleading expression on his face, and I have to turn away again.

I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Shame envelopes me, bringing with it the anger, the fear, the self-hate…and the sorrow; a tornado of emotions ripping through me, leaving behind nothing but misery.

The truth is, I did feel safer with Nixon, but that didn’t stop the rage inside me. I felt so heavy, like I was carrying so much weight.

“Ella.” Nixon’s tormented voice comes from right behind me, and my body erupts in goosebumps at his close proximity. I always feel hyper-aware of him, and now I feel like a ticking time bomb. I need to be alone. But he’s right. If I’m not going back to the police, then what am I going to do about my safety?

“Do your parents know?” Nixon asks.

“No.”

I had been terrified to tell them. Looking back now, though, I wish I would have. My parents were loving and protective, they would have helped me. But I’d been too afraid to hurt them.

“You’ve never told anyone?” Nixon asks hesitantly.

I turn around, glaring at him. “No! You’re the only one who knows.”

Nixon looks down, ashamed, but I can’t let myself feel bad. He lied.

“What else have you lied about?”

“Nothing,” he says, brows furrowing, eyes pleading as if he’s begging me to believe him.

“How do I know you weren’t in on it?” I yell. “How—”

I’m cut off by Nixon getting directly in my face. He towers over me, and I flinch back. Embarrassment fills me at my reaction, and his face, which looked murderous before, is now completely flat, emotionless, defeated.

“I know you’re mad right now, but don’t ever, for one fucking second, think I would be in on something so fucked up.” He works his jaw back and forth furiously. “And you don’t have to flinch away from me. I know I’m the kind of man your mother probably warned you to stay away from, but I told you, I’d never hit a woman.”

My tears start anew at his words, but my anger is still a living thing. That, coupled with my fear and the cracking of my heart—is making me feel too fragile and unbalanced.

I can’t help but get another cruel word in. I wipe my eyes, likely causing mascara smudges. “How do I know that’s not a lie too?”

His penetrating gaze is powerful as he stares down at me, unflinching. It’s almost stifling, but the worst part is that I can tell he’s hurt. He tries to hide it, but I can see it. He looks just as haunted as I feel, and I’d give anything to go back in time to yesterday when my biggest worry was why he wouldn’t sleep with me.

I want to ask him if the photos were the reason why, but do I even have to? That has to have something to do with it, but it doesn’t even matter anymore anyway. Our whole relationship seems fake to me now, like I was some sort of charity case.

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