The Quotable A**hole by Eric Grzymkowski

Author:Eric Grzymkowski [Grzymkowski, Eric]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781440529078
Publisher: F+W Media
Published: 2011-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

—P ROVERB

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

—S AMUEL BUTLER, V ICTORIAN NOVELIST

While it’s true that money can’t buy you happiness, poverty sure as hell can’t either. And there is no better reminder of how important money can be than not having any at all. But before you complain about how broke you are, just remember you are in much better shape than some of the following a**holes.

If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it’s gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus.

—J ACK HANDEY, A MERICAN COMEDIAN

You don’t seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

—J EAN KERR, AM ERICAN AUTHOR AND PLAYWRIGHT

I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn’t poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged.) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don’t have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary.

—J ULES FEIFFER, CREATOR OF THE COMIC STRIP FEIFFER

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