The Overthinkers by Lisa Portolan

Author:Lisa Portolan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Big Sky Publishing
Published: 2021-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

I could barely see the screen of my phone because of the blinding sunshine. I was at the beach with Chloe. But my head was somewhere else.

I squinted at it, and then cupped my hand around my phone to see the screen more clearly.

The text had been sent.

And there were those four letters, grey in colour, slender in font. Seen.

I waited, and bit my bottom lip.

I waited to see those three little dots, an indication that he was writing something in return. But there was nothing.

Just my text. And those four letters underneath it.

Plus the sinking sensation that he had read the text, and just turned his phone over. Case upwards.

I’d seen him do that at uni in tutorials. His phone would buzz, he’d pull it out, usually from his jeans, look at the message, and then turn it over on the desk. Like whatever was written was unimportant. Like it was something that could be dealt with later.

I was something that could be dealt with at another time.

It wasn’t the first time the thought had occurred to me. I knew I wasn’t front of mind for him. It was pretty clear. He never glanced in my direction. On the odd occasion his eyes would stumble across mine, and they would just keep going. Scanning the room. Like there was nothing about me that was interesting enough to capture his attention.

The first time I had seen him was at orientation day a couple of years ago. He had been standing with Leo. They were waiting for their order. Casually having a laugh. He was so pretty. Kind of tall and slender, and he wore his hair long. Shoulder length and blonde. Messy. Big green eyes, and a generous smile, which split his face in half like an arrow.

It was like he was surrounded by something. Almost like an aura. He stood out from the crowd like a character in a pop-up book. Real and three-dimensional, in an otherwise flat landscape.

From the moment I’d seen him I knew I wouldn’t be able to forget him.

He was imprinted on the back of my eyelids. Stencilled on the inside.

It’s not like there were heaps of students on campus at the one time. It was usually the same faces that fronted up at similar times for lectures or tutorials. He was in the communications faculty building. So, he was either visiting a friend, or he did comms. But it had been orientation day. It was pretty probable that like me, he was just starting up here.

I had watched him from my spot in the line, as he laughed with Leo. Hands shoved into pockets. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. He seemed at ease with things. With himself. With everything. I liked that about him. Because I never felt at ease. Not with anything. Despite the fact that I was intrinsically part of the in-crowd. In and out at the same time.

Their order had been called, and the pair of them had gathered their take-away coffees, and walked past me.

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