The Notebooks for Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky Fyodor; Wasiolek Edward;

Author:Dostoyevsky, Fyodor; Wasiolek, Edward;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dover Publications
Published: 2017-09-18T04:00:00+00:00

* * *

1 When they left, I jumped out of bed and later I was even surprised as to where I had got so much strength [run, run]. I began to get ready, but after five minutes I slumped down and began to sob with rage. Rage, unbearable rage. Oh, how I could have slaughtered them all; for two whole days I had been like a crazy person, and strangely there was only the feeling of wanting to pretend, to deceive them all, and to flee. I’m not going to tell any more about one feeling—madness. Deceive and go away, and I laughed maliciously at how I would deceive them. None of this was rational, but sort of childish. I found one sensation attractive: they’ll come and I’ll not be there. I ran away suddenly. On the fourth day that took a more rational form in me. The thought came [I could somehow or other weigh things] that I had nowhere to run to after all, and it would be better to rent an apartment, a corner, and not let out a whisper where for a whole month I would sit locked up. Then no one would come to torment me and no one would find me and it would be like that forever. I have to remark that my health was really returning and then later I became so happy when I dressed down Zametov and Bakavin.

* One of the main canals of St. Petersburg.

2 It seemed that I was being burned.

3 whispered to myself. I remember that I

4 and I was glad that I was shoving all that, but my God, I thought, is that really hidden, is that really the way that things are hidden? Then I remembered that there was blood on the purse. But it is in my pocket, joy. Good, that means I’m still thinking clearly.

5 I don’t see them because I’m thinking badly; I’m confused and my mind has blanked out.

6 When I managed this time, when I pulled it on again.

7 Wrapped up in the greatcoat. Another voice said, “Bah, caretaker, what’s the matter?” I leaped up.

8 I am walking on blood

9 I walked swaying; a deep inner terror continued and ate up all my sensations; several steps.

10 About the fringe, about how I could be such a fool.

11 having looked at

12 smoke a cigarette.

* Zametov.

13 dressed rather splendidly with a brooch on her breast as big as a saucer

14 I also looked at the lady. She was a splendidly dressed, a florid woman with a brooch as big as a medal.

* Referred to in the rest of this scene as Aleksandr Il’ich and as Lt. Gunpowder. In the Garnett translation he is referred to as Ilya Petrovitch; in Magarshack’s translation, as the assistant superintendent.

15 As soon as she turned around, you could smell the perfume.

16 Yes, I was trembling in indignation and nothing could distract me; I even forgot everything. To be sure I was still saying it all from old habit [but all the same how could I] not yet understand anything.

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